It’s devastating for a woman to discover that her husband is looking for sexual experiences outside of marriage. Pornography and the sexual fantasies that fuel its use are unfaithful behaviors that break the sacred promise: I am devoted and faithful only to you.
How should a woman react when her husband has ongoing problems with pornography, admitting another slip or fall?Should I continue to forgive him when he continually ceases to mortify this sin?Should he resign himself to living with him, because, well, is that it?Isn’t that what men, even Christians do, or should you part with it and even consider getting divorced to eliminate the pain of your marriage in trouble?
Let me suggest three ways to approach your pain
God exhorts her to mourn the pain, broken confidence, and deep disappointment caused by her husband in search of pornography. Lamentation recognizes the damage of sin and is a path to God’s deep comfort: “The Lord is close to the broken in heart and saves the oppressed in spirit. (Salt 34:18).
In the scriptures, God continually reminds you that you are very important to him.
It is not wrong to feel anger for the sins and temptations that remain on this side of heaven. Sexual immorality in marriage deprives both spouses of Christ-centered unity and the joy of marital intimacy.
You need a trusted friend or spiritual leader by your side. Many wives mistakenly believe that submission and respect mean keeping her husband’s sin a secret. Pious and trustworthy friends is a precious comfort and a help to your soul. A healthy church will look at you and say, “We are our sister’s guardians. “
When you face your pain, the Lord calls you to look for additional forms of redemption, not only for you, but also for your marriage. Here are two more answers to your husband’s sin.
If your husband continues to struggle, learn more about this specific topic. Two trusted sites on sex addiction (including effect on spouses) are the blogs Harvest USA and Covenant Eyes.
As you learn more about your problems with pornography, can you see a positive way to overcome this sin, even if there are slippages?Or is it stuck? Or worse, can you discern whether he really tries humbly to overcome his sin?Or are you just playing with him? It will help you know if you need to find a pastor or an old man who may be by your side to confront your husband, like Matthew. asks us 18: 15-20.
My sister, it’s not to betray trust, but it’s a brave show of love
The love made possible by Jesus gives value in marriage; It takes courage to face sin, to help your husband get relentlessly involved in battle to stifle the flesh and nourish the Spirit (Galatians 6:7-9).
How do you show an active love for Christ and your husband?Here are some ideas.
Sister, having hope in your god of trust, your Rock, will stabilize you in your fatigue and pain in the face of this situation. Jesus Christ has the power to bring radical changes to anyone who is plunged into sin.
Through a strong system of responsibility and self-control strengthened by the Spirit, husbands can wage war wisely, doing whatever it takes to thwart this sin. Neural pathways can reconnect in the brain. Behavioral habits can be republished. Miracles can happen.
So don’t get discouraged and don’t give up. The wounds he faces are real, but they are not in vain and do not have to end in tragedy. His hopeful dependence on Christ’s love and strength?And in a healthy church you can shape the way you go. with your husband.