When does a pastor say? No? At a wedding?

Should a pastor marry two non-Christians?

These are questions I always hear from other pastors: What makes it possible to celebrate a marriage in a particular situation and when should a pastor say no?

I am well aware that there are many strong opinions about each version of the problems surrounding marriage and vehement disagreements about evangelical couples that pastors should marry.
And with last year’s Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage.
The debate obviously doesn’t end there.

Assuming marriage is between a man and a woman, I suggest the following limitations in three common patterns.

1. A Christian who marries a non-Christian

Most agree, like me, that the scriptures do not allow a Christian to marry a non-Christian (for example, 1 Corinthians 7. 39; 2 Corinthians 6,14-18), so it is unwise for a pastor to marry him although many of us know examples in which the unbeliever wife eventually converted, would never encourage a believer to marry a non-believer and , therefore, I would never encourage a pastor to organize such a wedding.

That said, if you direct a Christian woman married to a disbeliever, 1 Peter 3. 1-6 is deeply relevant. A Christian who tries to live in fidelity and peace with a non-believer husband is one of the most powerful testimonies of Christ I have ever lived. However, I would never be willing to encourage a woman to carry this burden. Marriage between two believers is already difficult enough.

2. Christian when marrying a Christian

The ideal setting for a pastor is to marry two Christians, especially a couple he knows well, to be able to advise before marriage and to be a pastor during the first years of marriage. Wisdom and discernment are necessary when two Christians ask a shepherd to marry them. , although they are not yet linked to a local church, nor are they related to a pastor who is responsible for them.

Whatever the scenario, if you marry two Christians, the ceremony should be seen as a service in which the gospel is preached. You must know the couple well in order to urge them to have relationships with each other in a way that clearly demonstrates Christ’s love for his wife, the church (Ephesians 5. 22-33), and they live together globally when sometimes marriage becomes difficult, which will happen (1Pedro 3. 1-7).

If a couple lives in an obvious, habitual and unrepentant sin (such as coexistence or physical intimacy), he must renounce the ceremony, assuming that they persist in their unenthinkingness, since they cannot recommend them as public witnesses who live all their lives. Copy.

3. Non-Christian when marrying a non-Christian

That’s where much of the debate lies. The biblical basis for marrying two non-Christians comes from Genesis 2, where marriage is seen as an institution of creation, of common grace, in which God is glorified while his original design (a man and woman) is always manifest that union does not fulfill its supreme redeeming purpose (Ephesians 5:22-33).

But in the end, it’s a matter of conscience.

If your conscience allows you to marry two non-Christians, make sure that marriage does not present as a cult, it should be performed simply as a ceremony that allows you, as a pastor, to join the man and woman, with the witnesses present. This may be a strategic opportunity to preach the gospel, but first, I would arrange this part with the bride and groom before committing to marry them.

Three short tips

Remember that you should never feel compelled to have a wedding, no matter how much pressure family members or church members exert. If you don’t know if two people should get married, here are three ways to seek God’s direction:

1. Listen to your conscience.

The Holy Ghost acts powerfully through our consciousness and we must not ignore it. Consciousness is particularly important in matters that are not explicitly clear in the scriptures. Listen carefully.

2. Let yourself be guided by the scriptures

Your certainty about the possibility of marriage should be equal to your certainty as to the clarity with which the Word of God addresses the problems involved. We mustn’t talk where Scripture shuts up, as Tim Keller says, “We must be like this. immersed in the written Word and the truth of God that we are trained to choose correctly, even in cases where the Bible does not speak directly. “

This simple principle is useful for determining complex marriage decisions.

3. Ask other pastors for advice

We must always sit at the feet of older and more experienced shepherds and learn from their mistakes. Often, the implications of a marriage are not obvious for years, sometimes even decades. Listen to the wise voices who have already married some and rejoiced, but they have. He has also married others and is saddened. They will help you avoid similar errors.

And whatever you decide on a specific marital circumstance, don’t make the decision yourself, involve other people. Get help from those who have taken the paths you are taking now.

Each pastor will eventually face a decision regarding a specific marital situation. May God grant us the wisdom to think of each case with pastoral sensitivity and biblical attention.

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