Regardless of the pastor’s temperament and the type of church he serves, most of us agree that each church must have a broad spectrum of affection for its pastor. Each church, to some extent, has members who see its pastor through “pink lenses,” while others barely tolerate their existence and remain in the church despite themselves. Of course, pastors often seek affirmation and encouragement by surrounding themselves with those who consider him the best preacher, the most compassionate counselor, and the strongest leader, avoiding those who have less tolerant thoughts about them.
This has led to what I believe to be a good, useful and healthy role for our wives in our lives as pastors, as we face such a variety of affections to be treated among our people. Should I always be a pastor’s wife?
- Support: The greatest asset of a pastor is not an old man or a faithful deacon.
- She is a woman who knows him better than anyone.
- Knows his struggles.
- His failures.
- His inadequacies and knows the sins that entangle her more easily.
- And yet she has that support.
- Love.
- Affirmation and unwavering care.
- Is a wife who has a firm faith in God and support for her husband.
- Which supports them amid the most painful conflicts.
- The greatest betrayals and allows them to manage the most difficult.
- Church situations.
But not dazzled: while a woman’s unwavering support is of great value to a pastor and is essential for him to survive the struggles of the ministry, one of the worst roles for a pastor’s wife compared to her husband is to see him and his ministry through “pink lenses. “Blind spots in a pastor’s life and ministry are seen more clearly and more carefully by his intuitive “solidarity but not dazzled” wife. The wife of a pastor who is dazzled by her husband will not help her see the areas of pride and self-deception in her heart that appear in conversations at home. The wife of a pastor dazzled by her husband’s preaching will not hear her preach objectively, to help her grow up as a preacher. because of her husband’s gifts for the ministry, she will be tempted to ignore the constant criticism of people of trust in the church.
The reason I know it’s an invaluable gift to have a woman serving a pastor in this way is that I have a beautiful woman who greatly supports me and is incredibly dazzled, because she has found that balance, knows when to comfort me when I am legitimately discouraged and scolds me when I’m in a bad mood. She affirms my fidelity to the preaching of God’s Word, but does not believe that she is the greatest preacher in the history of the world (probably not even at the top). 10!). When my first book was published and people enthusiastically asked me, “You must be excited, but I can’t imagine how your wife feels. What do you say, I found the most accurate answer being this: “She is very favorable, but she does not dazzle. “
Dear brothers and fellow shepherds, pray that your wife will find this balance. Open up to your wife so you have the freedom to play this role. It is for our own good and growth that we appreciate the gift of a clear, consistent, solidarity but not dazzling assessment of our ministry. There is no better person to play this role than the woman for which you have given your life, live with you in your darkest moments of discouragement, sleep by your side every night, put you in their care, authority and sacrifice as much as she does to serve Christ in this local church.