Today, August 30, 2018, I’ve been married for ten years, yes!Tin or zinc marriage depends on your Internet source, I remember it as yesterday, August 30, 2008, it was a Happy Mac Day (yes, I have this problem to remember unnecessary details, I had a good one to eat a Big Mac. Je didn’t eat. ), Good weather or so hot, not so cold, a nice day and very conducive to getting married!It was an unforgettable day, no doubt, and the memory of it always gives me a pleasant sense of gratitude.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot in the last few days and I’ve been thinking about 10 lessons I learned in my first 10 years of marriage.
- Do you remember how long you thought and planned your wedding? It may be a day when you’ve invested a lot of time thinking.
- Researching.
- Budgeting.
- Imagining.
- Dreaming and the reality is that the wedding day happens.
- In the blink of an eye.
- Too fast.
- So much preparation.
- So much investment.
- Everything is delicious.
- But too fast.
- So I think idealizing your wedding as the happiest day of your life is a mistake.
What follows is what should be worth at least the same attention. Prepare for marriage and make it the best trip of your life. Get ready to get married! Ask for advice, divine advice, reading good books, praying with your boyfriend, talking a lot, because living married is very nice, but it takes an investment!It takes an intentional effort to live together, share, give in, and do all that is not natural to our selfish and proud hearts.
So, the bride and groom who read this post, plan the big day with everything they want, but don’t forget to prepare and pray seriously day after day, because it’s he who will define the wedding when the guests go, the flowers wither, the sweets run out and you return the old car.
Yes!! This phrase is not mine, it comes from Gary Thomas, a spectacular author who has written spectacular books about marriage. God did not create marriage to make us happy, but to make us SAINTS. Watching the wedding from this angle touched me a lot!heheje In the world, it’s crazy!!
But when I see that marriage indicates an eternal reality, everything changes. God created marriage to reflect his glory and the beauty of his loving relationship with us. Happiness is fleeting! God wants my holiness, because he has eternal value, and there is no better institution than marriage to polish us in that sense, right?
Their! Another phrase that is not mine, but which I learned in a video of an incredible conversation between 3 great men of God. What sustains love is the alliance. The commitment I made to God and men, to love my husband until death do us part, makes me strive to make this relationship work, so I decide to love him.
Another truth that may seem like total madness! But when I think otherwise, that my commitment is based on love, my base is fragile, especially in a world where he?Love? It has such fickle definitions and such selfish motivations.
The point here is simple. Hablar. No’t expect the other one to guess. Speak, Learn for many decades, how important communication is in marriage !!!
as many times as necessary. Excessive criticism undermines any relationship, especially marriage. No one likes to be criticized or even confronted all the time. Loving your spouse strikes a balance between knowing what to reveal in love and what to humbly face. It also involves Offering Forgiveness’s deliberate decision even if the other does not ask for it.
Another thing that seems crazy in our society, which is increasingly “philosophical”. I will not be able to offer the best to my children if I reverse the order of priorities God has assigned me in His Word: 1) God, 2) Spouse, 3) Children.
It was with my wife that God made me one flesh, not my children. Yes, children are the blessing, the love of our lives!We want the best of life for them, and that’s exactly why I can do the best. for them it is to cultivate in me an environment in which they first see God, and an intimate relationship of love and respect between father and mother.
Yes, there will be years when the care of young children will be so incredibly intense that it will seem impossible to pay the same attention to your husband as before. But this should not mean a change of priority, and it is during these crazy years of raising young children that we must be intentional in the search for a close relationship, camaraderie, brotherhood and romance with our spouses.
The children are leaving, the husband stays. This is the biblical truth. We’ve been infected with the opposite version.
Don’t get married in this passionate wave of “Ah, but we get along so well, we’ll never fight, we’re the same. “Seriously, don’t do that.
Because the reality is that we have conflicts, many !!! And if you live under the illusion that what defines a good relationship is the absence of disagreements or conflicts, it will break your face very early, because they are inevitable, and they exist on a large scale even in the pinkest marriages you see on social media. nets (of those cute, mellow couples who use #gutodadani, #danidoguto, you know?Oh my Dieu. Si you ever see a picture of me using ‘nodolu’, take a look at me. Thank you, but nothing against those who use it)
Instead, invest in the culture of a kind spirit, who says the truth with love, who communicates expectations, who recognizes when to ask forgiveness, who knows how to differentiate himself only from sinful anger, who attacks the problem and not the person.
And that? Instead of trying to avoid conflict at all costs, try to avoid fights!Lack of control, harsh words, manipulation, frowning. Exercise to resolve conflicts biblically. Oh, I’d like to say I’ve already mastered it, hahaha!It’s a daily struggle, but God can help us.
I am messy in many things, organized to the maximum in a few elements, I like to sleep late, wake up late. I cannot solve almost anything that involves manual work, my competence in this regard is nil, not to say that it is negative. My hobby is reading and writing, it relaxes me absurdly. I read a lot with children. I am outgoing, I like to talk, I speak out loud, if they take me by the hand the communication shakes. I love a series of fresh water. I love the cold, I am not a beach girl, I love to eat sweets and I have no problem sleeping with the light on, in fact, I prefer that.
Luiz is VERY organized, organized on a difficult level, the kind you notice when someone opens your drawer because the things inside are “moving”. Everything in it is neater. I’m the one who leaves a wet towel in bed. He gets up early, likes to get some bed early. Fix any issues. Paint the house if you need it, open the iron, uncork the sink, hang an image, a chandelier, assemble the furniture and do your art duties with the children. Luiz’s leisure is to live outdoors: sun, beach, countryside, mountain, any type of sport, any type of outdoor activity. It’s more secretive, of some (and good) words, it may seem shy at first, but then it relaxes. He doesn’t like movies with less than 250 shots. He prefers the heat, he loves a barbecue, he has all the trouble sleeping with the light on.
God unies us, Celebrate differences! Thanks to them we live in constant growth and adaptation, we grew a lot together. We’re still who we are, but we’re changing for each other!We experience new things that are different from everything we’ve done in life. He took me surfing. We’ve done some good trails. I ran to Sao Silvestre with him by my side carrying water. He likes to read. He slept all night with the hallway light on. We’re watching Heartland [i], and I’m getting to know Marvel’s Heroes!hahaha! And we both like to put condensed milk on everything.
As soon as possible. Anything is possible. I am not here defending a boring life, nor unaware of the real and inevitable difficulties and problems of life, yet I have seen more and more that the ability to laugh and have fun is a precious treasure to face everyday life.
Hehehe, as laughter is fundamental, I ended up not resisting Who knows in the next decade, I find out it’s possible?But so far, my people, I see no solution to the problem I’ve seen from home. of my jahaja ancestors, I began my married life seriously committed to keeping my tupperware wardrobe organized.
At first I thought the problem was with the blankets, I changed them all and fixed them for a while and then the chaos came back, so I decided to put them in each other, fix the problem once and for all and fix it. until you need the fifth pot of the set of 15. Then you take everyone out to get that specific, and the chaos is established again, unless the reorders, because they do not return to their original position after manipulation.
So, folks, after a few months I adopted the idea that “the important thing is to close the closet”, which means that at times the only solution is to throw one or more pots in the closet and close it running. and I hope the next person to open is not you. But that’s almost always the case, and then it’s up to you to pick them up one by one on the floor and find a new organization to keep them there, stacked, balanced, without bumping into you.
Well, anyway. I hope to bring a solution to my 20-year position. For now, I bring this tenth object as a practical experience that not everything will be exactly as you imagined and that it is quite plausible to live satisfied despite this and even laugh. That!
Ten years is a decade. It’s too much. Great things the Lord has done for us, and that’s why we are happy. My prayer is that he still gives me a few more decades of lessons learned and that nice company I’ve had with Luiz since our wedding day. It wasn’t years of pink, just good things. We have our struggles, our conflicts, our challenges, but God is bigger!!And it has perfected, polished and shown us how beautiful life is when we seek the same goal together!
“Oh my God gave me the best, made me so much more and went further!?
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[i] Netflix Series.
By: Ana Mendes Castillo (Nano). © Back to the Gospel. Website: voltemosaoevangelho. com All rights reserved. Original: Ten lessons I learned in ten years of marriage.