I love the cheerful, chaotic noise of my three children making a ‘attention call’ one morning, when they jump on a sleeping adult to wake them up with pillows, laughter and tickles. I love the sound, especially in the early morning, tomorrow of the holidays, coming from the hallway outside our room, while my wife and I climbed the blankets up to our chin, locked in our own room.
Oh. . . the joy of inviting a lonely and trusted adult friend to spend a family vacation.
- Over the years.
- We’ve become convinced of the courage and joy of integrating single friends into special family moments.
- Especially during the holidays.
- And some of our motives aren’t even selfish.
- So here are some comments to encourage you to include a single adult.
- Friends at their special family events.
I don’t know when we started inviting single friends to join us for family events, it was probably at a child’s birthday party or a Christmas dinner, but over the years, a surprising number of traditions in our family, which regularly focus on inviting specific people to join us. But whether it’s an old family friend or a new friend coming to a vacation gathering for the first time, it can mean a lot to them and our family. We all benefit from being part of a family and it is not necessary to start a new family to enjoy and enjoy family relationships.
And frankly, having an extra hand game for birthday parties, where you don’t have to be distracted by your own kids, can be a big help. Is that why we sometimes feel a little guilty about much of our service?that the single adults of our church end up seeming very helpful to us, but they don’t seem to care. It’s a symbiotic thing. We love the extra help of adults and they enjoy our crazy and fun home. And hopefully, along the way there will also be a good stimulus from the gospel.
I know from experience. I remember being single at twenty-five, thirty-five, and even when my forties were already on the horizon of my life. Finally (and fortunately) I married almost suddenly, at thirty-seven, but in nearly two decades of single adult life, it is one of my best memories of some church families who intentionally invited me into their lives, not only as the only guest at a festive meal, but on birthdays, school parties, special outings and even a family vacation. I think parents saw me as an example of a young Christian to their children, and I was more blessed than they could have imagined.
It won’t be a problem for your children either, children love traditions, at least ours, and some of the traditions that they hold most with love (or anxiety) involve friends who are not our parents, be it a long-time adoptive aunt. time at the birthday party, the friends we’ve invited over the years to help decorate our Christmas tree, or the young lady with her widowed mother, who are our regular Thanksgiving guests. If we do something more than once, will it become a tradition? minds of our children. And we are very happy about that.
We think it’s great that in our family, today, ‘Traditions’ tend to be primarily about who joins us, and not specifically what we do, and the news that only one person will join us for an event almost always results in joyful dances. Am I excited that our children grow up thinking more about relationships than food?or even in gifts. Okay, they still love gifts more and more, but we’re making progress.
It’s not just about spending time with Christian friends. Almost every Thanksgiving, my wonderful wife happily prepares a meal for more people than our big house can really handle. In addition to our beloved “habits”, we also try to fill a number of places with international students. When they talk to our children in advance, they are happy to learn a little more about the culture or language of the people who will come. “How do you greet yourself in Turkish? Ask, our -old, for the twentieth time.
This openness of our home to strangers has become a normal part of what our children do on Thanksgiving, Easter or Christmas, and the benefit of seeing a family organized around obvious love and submission to Christ has deeply impressed many young adults in countries where such testimonies are rare.
But you don’t have to say goodbye once the dishes are removed from the table. A few weeks ago, my wife was away for a few nights. So, of course, did I take the time to plan a sleepover?Inviting a family A friend in his twenties to come and stay with us. The kids were excited, it looked like he was having fun and had an adult to help shape the conversation over dinner and breakfast. -Attack up?. . . while still sleeping for fifteen minutes.
Having this kind of relationship requires careful planning and a small commitment. In the hustle and bustle of life, we must decide that this is how we will live.
Opening your home to single friends may seem intimidating, but try to imagine your home as a refuge from the outside world, sometimes quite barren. Think about what it might mean to invite one or even two single friends to your family. Try your luck. You may be surprised by the pleasure, help, and fruits it can bring.