Death is a delicate subject. No one likes to have to think about someone’s departure and it’s hard to find the right words to comfort those who are losing Maybe because this management is complicated for adults, we rarely have to think about how to help children go through difficult times. and we’d rather take them.
If we look back on history, not so long ago, death was something that was lived in people, the health service did not exist as it did today, and as someone’s departure approached it was assumed that it was time to say goodbye. And if goodbyes are always difficult, permanents will be no less, most of the time being sick and not having a life involves suffering, but that’s how life was lived and the body was kept in the house itself, children were part of those moments and suffering was not hidden from them as we usually do today.
- Do not fall into the extremes.
- Because I think it is a theme? Like so many others? Where every family must find its balance and common sense.
- I believe that there is something we can learn from the past and apply it to our reality today.
To be totally honest, my children go to the funeral, we’ve never had a minimum age or proximity criteria, yet can’t you have a child at a funeral without being explained?Growth and understanding is the right?a number of concepts:
These concepts are not conveyed in this way, but are lived and spoken as everyone grows, I think it makes no sense to protect a child from a funeral if he has healthy contact with suffering in his or her life experience. way to deal with suffering? I guess. Visiting people in the hospital, accompanying people in difficulty or suffering, praying for them on site and then at home, is one of the first steps to become aware of the deterioration of the body in the disease process, for example.
But there are very violent deaths that are beyond us, people who disappear into a sudden tragedy. It is important not to hide these facts when they happen to strangers, in case that same tragedy ever knocks on the door.
I remember one of our relatives leaving three years ago, death was relatively quick, and although my husband and I were able to say goodbye while we were still in the hospital, the hospital itself banned the children from entering, in this particular case, I’m sorry, because I think it was a hopeful farewell, because this aunt knew where she was going in the next few hours , and it would have been a powerful moment of testimony for my children, if not possible, went to the funeral. They were 4, 6, 7 and 10 years old each. The coffin was open but they didn’t want to get close, they cried at different times and followed the whole process.
I think that’s another important element: not hiding our own pain in the process, crying is part of life and washing our souls, if we’re sad because we’ve separated from someone we love, it’s normal to cry in front of them. who lives with us. I went into the room to cry, but I was also crying with my family. Crying is therapeutic and is a good way to express pain and connect with empathy.
If when you are having a good time as a family and having fun, you are expressing how much you love the presence of the other, why not do it when you are sad ?, we exist to comfort us and transpose these processes. Together.
To this day, my children have only attended the Christian funeral and I know that Christian funerals are full of hope in the midst of pain, they have never gone to another type of funeral because it never really happened, but that is another factor to consider.
For me, the death of a loved one occurred when I was 8 years old, my maternal grandmother got sick and a few days before she left my mother told me she probably wouldn’t see her again, and I didn’t come back. Maybe because the funeral would be a remarkable thing in the family?Were my parents the only Christians there? I didn’t go, I remember regretting not leaving, but I think the desperation of those who would be present was not the best testimony for me.
A few days ago we returned to a funeral, this time from a lady we do not know, but who tragically died, grandmother of friends and our brothers, again a service full of hope. My boys, they wanted to approach the whole process in the cemetery, they got excited about the pain of our loved ones, they commented on the tombstones we passed, they asked questions, we went home and at night we remember that: we have hope in Jesus, and we trust that God the Father knows the moment of all, even if it is difficult to understand, we have confidence. And if necessary, we cry.
“Crying can last one night, but joy comes in the morning. ?Psalm 30: 5