There are usually two extremes that accompany this question: the first is that of a pastor who carelessly sees his role as pastor of women as nothing different from his role as pastor of men; is a pastor who thinks that the same direct conversations he has with men in the church can happen to women in the same way. Has this mindset led many pastors, many of whom I have personally met, to lose their marriage and ministry because they foolishly placed themselves in compromising positions with the women of their church?with the intention of taking care of them.
There is, however, another aspect, which is becoming increasingly extreme, especially among young shepherds, is the pastor who fears so much the madness of the first extreme that he completely neglects the pastoral care of women in general in his church. Motivated by fear or not wanting to make an extra effort to understand a certain type of woman other than their wives, with the pretence of being “irreproachable,” some pastors are wrong to think that God will not hold them accountable for their souls. women entrusted to their care.
- Because of these two extremes.
- The first thing to establish in a pastor who thinks wisely about caring for women in the church is the need for balance; wise.
- Attentive.
- Demanding and balanced parameters should be at the center of each pastor’s approach.
- There are four suggestions I have found useful over the years to avoid these extremes.
- When I personally try to care for women in the church.
- But being too wise and aware of the biblical call to be innocent:.
I feel free to visit an elderly widow alone at home or in the hospital, if there is a big difference in age, but not to visit a woman in need, elegant and newly divorced than at my age, which I NEVER do alone!Be cautious not to compromise this rule. Remember, the rule is “grandma,” not “mother. “
I think it’s perfectly acceptable to communicate by email with women in the church. Many email exchanges are administrative matters only (please include our women’s event in newsletter emails). However, if you plan to send an email to a woman in the church, or receive one involving a personal question, you can copy the pastor’s wife and wife’s husband, this may be in section (cc), so that all correspondents can see the spouses’ participation. problems that would prevent someone else from being copied into the email, but this is usually good practice. This may seem tedious, but it may be helpful to be responsible if necessary.
I NEVER recommend a single woman. I know, it sounds extreme to some of you. Even if there’s a window between us and the church clerk, I won’t be alone with another woman. But I’ll meet to advise a woman to keep her husband in mind. It has been worth it, as the husband learns to take better care of his wife by sitting and listening. Besides, the husband is usually part of the problem. I learned this from my own marriage. What I’ve also learned is that sometimes a woman doesn’t feel comfortable sharing things with her husband in the room, which is why another woman or even another trusted pastor can be. that extra person in the room. It even becomes essential to marriage struggles where a husband controls and dominates and a wife is afraid to speak openly. If I’m trying to deal with a single woman, my wife is my favorite choice as a counseling partner, but I’m open to having another trusted leader or friend of the single woman in mind. I’m flexible, but I won’t advise alone.
Pastors must deal with pastoral affairs with everyone in the church; however, the long-term problems that will require years of care and discipline must be passed on to mature, pious and capable women of the church, who would then report their progress to the pastors, which still allows for a kind of pastoral supervision and spiritual care.
Well, that’s my attempt at balance
Pastors, do you have any wise counsel to add to help achieve this balance?