It’s a nightmare scenario for everyone involved: a man calls his pastor crying and asks for a meeting as soon as possible. Thirty minutes later, he is in the pastor’s office, admitting that his wife surprised him by sexually touching his 13-year-old pastor. Old lady, seems completely upset, until the pastor asks the man to call the child abuse hotline and report. Then the aggressor begins to protect himself: “Will that not destroy my family?Won’t that destroy my reputation?The man refuses and leaves the office Two weeks later, his whole family moved to an unknown place.
What should the pastor do? Often, the pastor does nothing, even though many states have laws on the allegation of sexual abuse that require the clergy to report such abuse even when the prerogative of the confessor pastor has been invoked. Similarly, the leadership of the church did nothing, arguing that the family had fled to another state, beyond the reach of its former congregation and the result is that a sexual aggressor gets rid of his sin and crime and will continue to commit this sin until he is finally captured by the authorities.
- Think of the child involved.
- What does the church say about him in this case?Think of your wife and other children; in man himself and in his immortal soul; in the new community where he moved in with his family.
- What does the church say about the people involved?Think of the church and the gospel.
- What does the church say about them?.
In all cases where the church does not face sin, and in particular disturbing sexual sins, we say something very simple: we love each other, our comfort, and our reputation more than God, the gospel, and others. That’s what happens when we don’t ‘ I don’t see any harm.
Of course, there are many other situations in which our churches and leaders reveal evil:
When the eminent funder leaves his wife for another and the church does not discipline her, allowing him to resign?
? When the cardiologist threatens his wife with a firearm, he then says he was “joking” and had no consequences;
? When the middle-aged mother, who has three children, decides to leave her husband, home and church simply because she is not happy and no one comes into contact with her.
In each of these and many others, when the church does not treat people with formative, corrective, elegant, and loving discipline, we do spiritual harm and truly betray the gospel.
So what are we doing about it?How can we go from being people who do not see evil and who love our own comfort to people who love Christ and his people, no matter what it is for us?
Don’t churches often do the right thing, both ecclesiastical and civil?Because they weren’t thinking about how to proceed in specific situations. We can’t wait for the nightmare scenario to happen. If we do, we will handle it inappropriately, we must have clear and written procedures in advance to follow.
For presbyterian churches, there is a sense in which this has already been determined for us, in the Presbyterian Church of America, for example, we have the church order book, which establishes a disciplinary process. For independent churches that do not have reglas. de denominational discipline, there must be a clear and written process of ecclesiastical discipline. Whatever the denominational context, as church leaders, should we be determined to follow the process?regardless of who is involved (Matthew 18:15-20; 1 Timothy 5. 21). ).
However, we must admit that we may need other protocols to help guide responses to specific situations. For example, when child abuse is suspected or confirmed, church leaders should have and follow specific guidelines for reporting the case to the relevant civil authorities. such protocols, you will need to work with a local attorney to ensure that the church complies with state reporting laws. Having this protocol written eliminates the reasons for the complaint. In many states, the requirement is for church leaders to report the problem as soon as possible. as it is discovered, and then allow the appropriate authorities to investigate and determine whether a crime has been committed. Cooperation with the state on these issues is appropriate and biblical (Romans 13:1-7).
The Apostle Paul exhorts us to gently restore sinners (Galatians 6. 1). Such kindness does not preclude firmness and determination; on the contrary, it stems from the recognition that we are also sinners. This recognition must protect us from complacency or arrogant anger. Make sure that with sins like child abuse, there is a just anger that is appropriate against sin and its long-term effects. However, it is God’s goodness that leads to repentance (Romans 2. 4). Although we treat those who commit crime with kindness and firmness, we seek their ultimate repentance and restoration.
However, we often do not show similar compassion for the victims. Churches regularly report that they do not treat women who divorce their husbands who are caught watching child pornography with compassion; or disclose when cases of child abuse are discovered. Other churches admit that they refuse to defend women who are physically abused by their husbands or that children who are sexually abused by their parents go unnoticed. Where is the compassion for these victims?As churches, we must be determined to show compassion for those against whom sin has been committed because we are determined to do with him what we want others to do with us (Matthew 7:12).
Both the author and the victim of sin need the same thing: the gospel of Jesus. Those who commit sexual sins, whether sexual immorality, adultery, or even sexual abuse, need to listen to the gospel. The sum of discipline is to confront the sinner with the demands of Christ, to demand repentance, but also to seek new standards of obedience that can only occur when the sinner runs daily toward Christ.
Often, those who commit complicated and horrible sins believe that their sins are too great to be forgiven. Should we remind them that there is no sin so great that it can condemn those who truly repent?(Confession of Faith of Westminster 15. 4). Does this genuine repentance come from understanding [God’s] mercy in Christ toward those who repent?(CFW 15. 2). What is God’s mercy in Christ? So great that he sent his only Son to die for sinners, and that this death is enough to forgive all our sins, even the most odious.
Victims also need the gospel of Jesus: if Jesus is a Savior who does not crush the broken cane or extinguish the smoking crowd (Matthew 12. 20); who identifies with the wounded and broken and gives freedom to those oppressed by sin (Luke 4:17-21); and who also asked “why” when God’s pain and helplessness were overwhelming (Matthew 27. 46).
But the victims of sin must also know that Jesus does more than identify with us in our pains, he really did something about it, through his resurrection he is able to give new life and hope in the present and in the future. power to overcome the pain they experience. In addition, the gospel provides us with the basis for forgiveness, knowing that we too have committed heinous sins against God (Ephesians 4:32).
It’s really the hardest thing there is, as leaders in the ministry, we like to believe that when we intervene, we work in a disciplinary process and get involved in the gospel, don’t we?But it doesn’t work that way. Especially in situations where there is an important relationship, such as in a long-term adulterous relationship, divorce or sexual abuse, it can take months and years of gospel application so that we can see healing and hope.
These situations usually involve financial support (if the repentant offender loses his or her job in the event of divorce), long-term counseling or therapy (which may or may not be covered by insurance), or periodic accountability meetings. cost pastors, heads of ministry and emotional energy.
And yet God, by his Spirit, not only sustains us to love in this way, but also directs us towards the ultimate goal of everything:?[Christ] whom we proclaim, warning every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every perfect man in Christ?(Colossates 1, 28). Do you see the sinners healed, the victims restored, and both on the safe path to heaven?What else would a pastor or church want?