Two years ago, I went on a trip with my son after the age of 13. What was the reason? My wife and I promised each of our children that at the age of 13 they would make a special trip with one of us: my son with me and each of my daughters with my wife The purpose of these trips is first and foremost To have fun and enjoy each other’s company, so everyone chooses their destination (must be within the limit of a day’s travel) and determines the essentials of the agenda.
However, there is another purpose in these journeys: to celebrate the fact that each son grows up to become a man and therefore our daughters to be women. Becoming a teenager can be a daunting prospect (for children and parents) and often silences the father and son of the obvious changes that are taking place, however, we want it to be something that we all celebrate, we also want to communicate the responsibilities that accompany this different stage of life, as well as some of its evolutionary aspects. Therefore, these trips are also meant to have very intentional conversations about the lives of men and women. Many of these conversations take place for a long time, but travel provides an environment to deepen and reaffirm what has already been said.
- Since many of you have asked me how I took my son to these conversations during our trip.
- I thought I could explain it here to others interested in some of these details.
- Provide and direct.
We read 1 Peter 3:1-7 and how I am called of God to protect my wife and children from physical harm. Then we discussed how my child might participate in this activity at home. We talked about practical ways in which we could also protect your mother and sisters from harm, from insect death to closing doors at night when you were out of town. We also read Proverbs 5 and discussed the need to protect ourselves from the adulterous woman behind every man so that he could steal it from his wife. This allowed for a fruitful discussion about sexual impurity and the destruction of pornography around us as men, and how we protect our hearts and minds.
As men, we are called to support our families, we were made to work (Genesis 1-2) and take care of our families, providing the physical, emotional, and spiritual support every family member needs (1 Timothy 5. 8) So I talked about how my child could accomplish that, even though he doesn’t have to work to support a family right now. We talked about how you should strive now for school, competitive swimming, lawn cutting, household chores, and anything else that in your current life will help you develop a work ethic, which you can then use at work, which in turn you will use to sustain a woman and family one day, if the Lord so desires.
We have read and discussed many implications of our call as Christian husbands to love our women as Christ loved the church and abandoned himself for it, according to Ephesians 5. 22-33. One of the main ways Christ loved was through humble sacrifice. about how my son could serve his mother and sisters in a sacrificed way to develop this instinct to lead through humble service in the home. In addition, we talked about the times when I asked him to take us for a family walk, or when he could choose the best place to eat, thinking of all the family members. These are small ways my child can lead now (and teach my daughters to follow him) and think about how their choices affect others.
Parents, I don’t think they need to take a trip as planned with each of our children, if they can pay for a trip and do it, much better. In any case, I urge you to be very intentional not to delay such conversations that should take place well before the age of 13. Don’t be afraid of them. Don’t run away from them and soon I predict that they will feel uncomfortable, I assure you that it will be too late if you wait to need these conversations, our journey has been a joy, very fruitful and saddens me that it is the only one I will do.
My eldest daughter will be 13 in two months (it’s over) and her journey is already planned for the fall with my wife. Parents with older children, what have you done that has been fruitful in preparing your own children?