“Wherefore, I pray thee, prisoner of the Lord, that thou walk as thou art worthy of the vocation to which thou hast been called” (Ephesians 4:1).
I am 33 years old and diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) in early summer 2017. My husband Pete and I have three preschoolers and we are setting up churches in Barlanark, Glasgow.
- After having our twins in May 2015.
- I began to suffer unbearable pain in several joints.
- The pain disappeared and reappeared within a few weeks in another joint.
- Every time I went to the doctor so the pain disappeared or I was told to treat it with painkillers and come back if the pain worsened.
- It was so frustrating!.
Finally, I went to a rheumatologist and was diagnosed with “atypical” rheumatoid arthritis. RA is an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation of the joints, to which a person is genetically predisposed and can begin at any time.
When I heard the news, I underestimated the potential that this disease could change my life, it was only within a few weeks that I realized it online, and then I was astonished by fear: fear of being paralyzed, having deformed hands and feet and becoming a burden to others. A poisonous bitterness invaded me and I was paralyzed in my mind. I didn’t go to church this weekend, feeling completely lost and unable to stop crying. All my theological beliefs were suspended while I was beating like a bird in a hammock the day “life” interfered with my faith. Thoughts like, “God doesn’t want me to be able to take care of my family,” they went through my mind.
Like disciple Peter, I looked at the waves and flowed
Is the pain now more located on my knees and wrists, getting worse in the morning?This has significantly affected family life, as Pete has had to leave work to do simple things like dress up children or help go to day care. It has been heavy on him and affects those who trust him, many times I feel guilty and there have been many tears, but I am grateful for a patient and loving husband who shows me Christ right now.
I began this text with Paul’s words about living a life worthy of our call. What do I say then, can a disease be a call?Calls are not just for missionaries and pastors.
So how can AR be called when she stands in the way of my ministry as a church implanting wife?
This question, which I always ask, shows my misunderstanding about how God works. Is it natural for us to look at the ‘circumstances? Like an interruption of life. When our church-setting team dispersed last year and Hope Community Church Barlanark wasn’t founded as planned, it would have been easy to see this as an interruption or a mistake. But we had to trust that God’s time was perfect in the face of apparent failure. Make no mistake, we do not walk with a sacred glow and without affectation; it was a daunting moment.
However, despite my personal resistance to his plan at times, I know the truth: “According to the inner man, I enjoy the law of God,” as Paul describes it in Romans 7:22.
Jesus extends his merciful hand to me daily and saves me from the net. After this “weekend”, definitely exhausted, I asked Jesus what he was teaching me. Fortunately, God’s Word has a lot to say about suffering. It is something we are all sure of. Remember that God spoke to Job afflicted with the same whirlwind that destroyed his family (Job 38), but God remains blameless and good.
?? we also pride ourselves on tribulations; knowing that tribulation produces patience? (Romans 5: 3)
The suffering of the Christian is never useless or meaningless, it is productive.
Of course, this doesn’t mean we should pretend to be happy even when we’re in agony, I hope you don’t understand as if you’re saying irreverent words about suffering, I know I just tried the cup that many should drink daily. The Psalms are full of sadness, but this is not the end. Is there a golden thread of hope that runs through all the books of the Bible?The hope of a Savior, and that Savior changes everything. That one day the pain will end, the tears will dry up and our bodies will be restored to glorious perfection beyond our imagination, it is the certainty of every Christian.
At age 7, my brother was paralyzed for three months due to a virus in his brain that destroyed his memory and abilities. My father still speaks with tears as he recalls Jesus’ words about his dying friend, Lazarus: “Is this disease not for death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified?(John 11:4).
It is a passage that God used to speak deeply to my parents during this period and ever since. My brother recovered much more than expected, but no one came out unscathed. The pain continues, but we don’t despair.
So, shouldn’t we pray for healing? I asked God to take away my pain and fortunately the medicine I’m using now is working. However, it weakens the immune system and has unpleasant side effects. It’s the journey of a lifetime and there’s probably going to be more pain to come. But I praise God for medicine, doctors, and this season of relief.
Of course, we must pray for healing, but with an obedient and confident heart, consciously aligning ourselves with his will, without trying to subdue it to our own.
So, reader, what is your calling?
We have guaranteed difficulties, but we are all called to suffer in the right way for the glory of God and for the breath of others, knowing that: ??our slight and momentary tribulation gives us an excellent and eternal weight of glory?( 2 Corinthians 4:17).