God’s grace is patient and acts instantly and over time. One mistake we sometimes make is to idealize too much, as if we can’t be forgiven more than once when we make mistakes.
How to view these steps to biblically save your marriage is as a way to implement Colosss us 3:13:?Support yourselves and forgive us, if anyone has a complaint against someone else?That’s it, we have it, and we have to “forgive” how do these things relate in marriage?
- Here is one way I have in mind.
- I will describe nine steps to achieve reconciliation with your wife (or husband.
- Friend or colleague).
- Something like this is necessary when you are too sinful to sincerely apologize the first time.
- It is a real experience more frequent than I would like to admit.
- And if not less frequent than necessary.
- (Wives and husbands.
- Read the steps in both roles).
Step one. Your wife complains about something you’ve said or done wrong or don’t like.
2nd step. You got angry. (For five or six reasons that seem reasonable to you at this time. )
Step three. Grace makes you see that this anger does not come from God and that you must sincerely apologize, both for what she has complained about and for your anger.
Step four. You apologize, but you can only say the words, you don’t feel bad, because anger has hardened your heart against your wife, you’re not touched, you don’t feel broken, you don’t regret it. You say I’m sorry because you know you should. It’s better than silence. It’s a partial pardon.
Step five. She feels that you are angry and, of course, is not satisfied with words that do not bring deep and sincere repentance.
Stage 6. Time passes, twenty-four hours, two days?The Holy Spirit, always patient and always holy, will not leave you; work against anger (James 1:19-20). Awaken the truths of the gospel (Ephesians 4:32) and soften the heart (Ezekiel 36:26). This can be by reading the Bible, telling a friend, reading a book, going to a service. In the meantime, your wife waits, thinks, prays, waits.
Step 7. La anger disappears. The softness increases, the affection awakens. Sadness for sin increases.
Step 8. You call your wife and tell her that her first apology was the best she could do at the time because of her sin. Admit it wasn’t enough. You affectionately tell her how you feel about her, you ask her for forgiveness from the heart and ask her to forgive you.
Step 9. With mercy, she forgives and everything is better
I hope you talk to your spouse to see if this matches your experience. It is important to develop this possible pattern in your set of expectations: a discount (called mercy) may be granted so that none of you feel desperate. step 6.