If the marital relationship has not been captured by romantic ideals, divorce romance is now fashionable!”It was nothing big, we’re just getting divorced, love and friendship go on, only marriage is over,” some say. The important thing is that you feel good and happy,” the others say. Not that I argue that divorcees should hate themselves or anything, but it’s not possible to file for divorce.
You can’t say it’s okay when you’re not. Separation is a form of grief. It is a rupture of two people who dreamed and committed themselves before God and society to remain together until death. It is not the same as cancelling their loyalty to the telephonist, we are talking about a couple who did not survive the common crises of common life and opted for marital bankruptcy. Unless there are reasonable minimum reasons for separation, such as the unlawful sexual intercourse mentioned by Jesus, the irretrievable abandonment of one of the parties, or even the sad experience of domestic violence, the separation of a couple should be seen as a story of failure and not as a story that “worked” for the duration.
- Society is romantic about divorce precisely because it has agreed in romance to marriage.
- The contemporary marriage industry is perhaps most responsible for this reconfiguration of the meaning of marriage.
- James KASmith correctly points out that we may be tempted to think that “the explosion of the marriage industry is good news.
- As a sign that our culture is beginning to value marriage and family.
- “Smith asks.
- “Doesn’t all this prove that our society values marriage more than ever?”.
- He replies: “Not so much In fact.
- Do the estimates indicate that the income from the divorce industry is equal to those of the marriage industry?[1].
In other words, the fact that marriages are prominent does not mean that the institution of marriage is prominent; in fact, it’s a sign of the dawn of entertainment society. Every couple knows that while the ceremony is important for a wedding, it is. They don’t represent the reality of life together, but isn’t it marital realism that sells the wedding party?It foreshadows marriage as a spectacle where love is romantic all the time, materializes on social media as perfect all the time, intentionally setting aside something that the spectacular brilliingness of the wedding ceremony will never show: the hard work of maintaining a marriage.
The truth is that marriage does not correspond to the society of spectacle, marriage has never been and will never be a recommended institution for those who live to cultivate their own ego, appearance and notoriety, the reason is simple: the objectives of marriage are diametrically opposed to all. The ultimate goal of marriage is sacramental, that is, to reflect God’s being. In particular, God created this institution as a sign of a sublime reality—Jesus Christ’s love for His Church.
Marriage, by definition, is therefore the institution of sacrifice, not comfort; it’s a symbol of our gasoline search and doesn’t correspond to those who are only interested in visibility. Marriage is a school that suppresses vanities and illusions. It doesn’t matter in marriage? it’s you or how much others respect you. Man’s greatest achievement is being admired by the same woman every day and vice versa.
In marriage, spouses see themselves as they are and not as they seem to be. Marriage challenges us to love our spouses not for whom I would like them to be, but for who they are. Marriage is glamorous only for the wedding industry, for entertainment society and not for ordinary couples.
Perhaps one of the great truths to be told about marriage today is that marriage was idealized by the Creator, first of all, to mature as human beings and not as a vehicle for happiness. Understanding this principle is already a great starting point for reorganizing our expectations about marriage.
More than a pursuit of happiness, marriage has a moral function in society; Through couples, God raises new generations and new civilizations; All the values that a society needs to prosper are reflected in the routine of family life: moral principles, faith, government, relationships, limits, discipline, tolerance, coexistence, finances, among others. Strong marriages produce strong partnerships; Fragile societies are the product of ruined marriages. And, among many other factors, ruined marriages are the result of overly romantic relationships. For the good of the Church and society, we must stop romanticizing divorce and marriage itself.
[1] See James K. Smith. You are what you love: the spiritual power of habit. Sao Paulo: Vida Nova, 2017, p. 161?164.