When I was a single woman in my thirties, I invited the elders of my church and their wives to an official dinner on a public holiday, to express my gratitude for their care and ministry, while serving the roast rib on a table adorned with porcelain. and glass, a man remarked, “Wow, I would never have done that when I was single. Would it serve pizza for everyone?”
The pastor made this comment as a thank you and I received it that way, but I thought about it later, realizing that for many people, the link between youth inexperience and celibacy is inextricably linked. In my twenties, I also served pizza on cardboard plates if I thought I’d offer hospitality.
- This is one of the potential pastoral challenges for ministry with single adults.
- We are often single: a monolithic block of singles.
- But there are as many stages and stages in adult life for singles as for married adults.
- His fifty years.
- With a demanding career.
- Caring for elderly parents is not the equivalent of a young graduate who still lives at home.
- Both are single.
- Yes.
- But there is a good chance that the older single and newly graduated parents will have more in common.
Over the years, I have observed that singles can be very difficult to shepherd; what the leaders say in the pulpit about celibacy, it is certain that it will encourage some and offend others; I know because I’ve been in both groups, depending on where. I am in the cycle of hope or despair and how I handle it in my soul before God.
So I have some considerations about single adults that I would like to offer to church leaders. I hope that these considerations will foster a stronger bond between singles and their local congregations:
Shouldn’t you be a relationship pastor?Yes, you must
Churches should have an elevated view of marriage and support it without apologizing, but church leaders must also recognize that when marriage is devalued in our culture, this contempt also enters the church. generation to get married well. In our current approach, many single adults are adrift and need help getting to know each other and get married wisely, as this is not a priority in our culture.
In the face of this neglect, the church must be proactive in facilitating what God values in the scriptures. That said, there’s a big difference between curious disadvantages and facilitating relationships between single adults. In my observation, the best resource available to locals. Church is that married men are friends and mentors of single men, not to “repair” them, but to invest in them as brothers.
Therefore, to help single adults get to know each other and get married well, the church must be proactive in creating contexts for singles to meet and experience loving relationships in the context of the community. How this happens will depend on many factors specific to local communities, which is why church elders should lead and shape this process.