Of all the many cultural changes the church hasn’t noticed?And maybe at the top of the list?this may be the growth of “singles. ” Many churches and Christians treat singles gracefully, others don’t. See if you recognize any of these situations:
Well-meaning older women who ask young women why they are still single.
- Singles who date a “group of friends”.
- Only to discover in the 3rd.
- 5rd.
- 7th or 9th round.
- Who are.
- Inadvertently.
- The only singles in a sea of couples.
The pastor preaches en masse about marriage, although he apparently forgets that about 30% of his congregation is, in fact, single.
We started like this so we wouldn’t offer one?for anyone, but to face a harsh reality: the Church has not always treated single men and women. It is important that we do this because, according to The Atlantic, the average age of the first marriage in the United States is 27 for women and 29 for men. These statistics exploded in a short time: in 1990, the average age of the first marriage was 23 years for women and 26 for men; in 1960 it was 20 for women and 22 for men. This is a “seismic” change and happened in no time.
There are many reasons for this cultural change. Undoubtedly, the sexual revolution has had an effect on how young people see their future. Sex is now dissociated from marriage in the eyes of many non-evangelicals. Lisa Wade’s horrible American Hookup documented this change. As the famous sociologist Jean Twenge has pointed out, this is the era of “Generation I”. In addition, urbanization has opened up opportunities for life-change, career advancement and personal exploration that would disrupt the minds of past generations. .
We could go on, but the point seems pretty clear: our culture has changed and affected many pious men and women. Pastors of christ’s Church can condemn these changes, but they have a greater task: welcoming singles.
I have three quick suggestions for that
First, pastors can attract the interest of singles by encouraging men and women to marry wisely.
Many currently single men and women will marry in the not too distant future. The exact number is difficult to pin down, but about 80% of people who are currently single will get married at some point.
However, here’s the question: how do we get there?For Christians who love the scriptures, the answer should include returning to biblical writing. The roadmap for most men and women is as clear as it is ancient. According to Genesis 2:24, a child becomes a man; as a man, he shows that he is mature, in part, leaving the father and the mother; When she leaves, she seeks a woman to marry, she is not really that complex, although living this plan can be so, pastors cannot instantly marry all single men and women called to marry, yet they can celebrate marriage from the beginning. and, seriously and directly, encourage young people to embrace masculinity. For many men, this will involve seeking a devoted woman, making arrangements to support a family, and developing by God’s grace as a spiritual leader.
In our world of “I have autonomy, I do what I want”, pastors should not take a sarcastic side or an empty commentary when doing the work. I believe that pastors would serve to better teach on this subject in a series of training sessions. The goal is not to talk to single men, the goal is to help them with love and firmness, as pastor culture sells them the idea that being single is living with autonomy and self-reliance, you have something much better to offer: the charming vision of human realization based on God’s biblical plan for men and women.
Accompanying men, by the way, will provide important help to the young and pious girls in their care, many of them want to get married, but they know, because they are students of the Word, that men, as a mark of their marital call throughout life, must lead to the formation of a relationship.
If you want women to thrive through the deep joy of marriage, challenge men, but you must also help women see that culture is happy to sell them a lie. Feminism has taught many women that they do not need a man, while many of them were made by God to marry. Women generally seem less likely than men to lead an irresponsible and goalless life, but pious single women will also benefit from education about the benefits of marriage.
Second, pastors can engage single people who celebrate life alone
However, our work is not complete in ecclesial terms, if we stop here, we have to go further. We must clarify that Paul sees life dedicated to God, without the worries and complications of marriage, as a really good choice, and perhaps even better (1 Cor 7:25-35). He sees that much of the service of the kingdom emanates from a Must be careful to distinguish this from the hedonistic cultural version, unless, of course, we want to be misunderstood at a time when there is an endless existence in high school.
Part of how we do this is to celebrate Jesus’ example from the pulpit. Jesus was guided by Dieu’s will. He was sent to earth by his father and lived to do his father’s will. Did he really call the will of his father? (John 4. 34). A single man or woman who loves Christ cannot perfectly obey the Father, but they can accomplish many good things through the power of gospel grace. Pious singles can have great pleasure in serving the Lord. You can meet the happiest and happiest. The most holy man who has ever lived, the Man-God, who never tore off a son’s hair, never attended tea with a little girl, or laughed at a private joke with a woman. Jesus was not married every earthly day and was extraordinarily satisfied with God.
We must celebrate the life Jesus led and make it clear that his path is a viable and even exemplary path for singles.
Third, pastors can hire celibates by preaching the rich doctrine of vocation and service.
Whether singles are called to marriage or celibacy throughout their lives, they have work to do. For many members of the church, can there be a period, perhaps take some time, when they do not know exactly what their vocation is?For these people, as for the whole Church, pastors must deepen the rich doctrine of vocation, helping them to see that it is an honor bestowed by God to work for the Lord in a measure of professions and called (1C 10. 31; Necklace. 3. 23?24). If singles don’t know exactly what to do, they can hear from their leaders that their work is important to God and gives them a great way to use their gifts and interests.
Pastors can also help singles discover the beauty of serving the church. The life of every believer does not concern us; it’s about God, and life for God necessarily involves belonging to a church (I think someone wrote about it). Religious service may not mean something particularly spectacular; this may involve serving in daycare, giving a Sunday school class, cleaning the sidewalk before morning service, etc. , but all this service, performed in union with Christ, counts, glorifies God, adapts to the cruciform form of Christian life and makes us more fully human.
Vocation and service: two important areas of life that are often overlooked in the pulpit, but which help God’s people find purpose and hope in this fallen and often lonely world.
In a church culture, when singles can be treated as carriers of a contagious disease or completely ignored, pastors can give great strength to single men and women simply by involving them as individuals. The means of participation I have proposed are neither fanciful nor complex Involving fundamental attention to the reality of singles, to the current generalized nature of the single state, and to the biblical grips of a life that glorifies God.
We may never be able to completely prevent dear elders from judging single church members and asking them what is wrong with their lives. However, what we can do in our church culture is involve single men and women as people, not problems. can we offer them biblical truth, wisdom, and hope. No matter what this mortal life has to do, as members of God’s people, they are and will always be married to Christ, who gave his life for his wife.