“Now, the works of the flesh are known and are: “Enmity, fears, jealousy, anger, discord, dissension, factions, envy?”And things like these, upon which I declare unto you, as I have already told you, that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God?(Galatians 5. 19-21).
She was talking to one of our constituents about domestic violence, she told me that at school they learned that no matter what women do, it’s never fair to hit them, she assumed domestic violence was a female problem, it was an interesting discussion, we talked about the different contexts in our culture and we both agreed that we should have a “zero tolerance for domestic violence. ” , whether the aggressor is a man or a woman.
- However.
- This is a complex issue.
- In our world.
- If a man hits his wife and she reacts by stabbing him.
- Many would consider her a hero.
- If the opposite happens and a woman hits her husband and he reacts by stabbing her.
- Then he would be considered the bad guy.
- Unfortunately.
- It is not uncommon for many congregations to have marriages where domestic violence is a problem.
- I am thankful that churches are finally beginning to take the issue of domestic violence seriously.
- However.
- I wonder if.
- When we use the term “domestic violence”.
- Our minds immediately imagine the woman as the victim and the man as the aggressor.
- I wonder if.
- When you read the title of this article.
- Your immediate assumption was that it was about abused women.
- I wonder if.
- Subconsciously.
- We see men abused as if they were.
- Low? And do we treat them less seriously? Why.
- While this is so common in our culture.
- Do we see so little of the male perspective as a victim? I would like to know how much this new evangelical wave of machismo helps men who suffer in cruel and tormented relationships.
- How can a man turn to his pastor or leaders for help on this issue.
- If the dominant culture is drinking beer.
- Going to Christian wrestling clubs where there are men? for real? have a full beard and watch fights in the ring? What hope is there for a man stuck in this situation for a long time (and he usually is) if he already feels less than a man?.
The next video was filmed in secret and shows two couples arguing in the street, when the aggressor is a man, viewers intervene. As a woman, viewers stand still and some laugh even when a man is physically assaulted by his girlfriend.
Anger (and violence) is destructive when it is produced by a woman or a man; it is a mistake to believe that because she is a small woman (or simply because she is a woman), she can cause less physical and psychological harm; this does not help when we perpetuate the myth that women do not mistreat their husbands and that those who do are not so bad and that, therefore, their abusive behavior is not as serious as that of their male counterparts, it is a sad truth that in some marriages, women use violence as a means to achieve what they want (some figures indicate a high rate of domestic violence of 38% compared to men).
Most of the time, this is revealed in an impending outburst of anger beneath the surface. David Powlinson describes it this way: can you “hold back” a person’s anger? “People can be ‘disturbed’, ‘full’, angry, waiting to ‘explode’. They are ‘about to spread’. Old and unresolved anger can be ‘saved’, ‘protected’ for decades. If you remove it from your chest? until your anger is “consumed”, you feel. These words ring true for many women who, never having properly managed their emotions, pour out these feelings on their spouse as a form of release. The end result is always a form of But here is a truth that is equally applicable to male and female abusers.
How can the Church help?
When a spouse becomes the object of anger, there can be many lies that aggressors tell themselves to justify the explosion. We need to reinforce the next truth.
Didn’t he make you do that? Nobody makes you hit or abuse your spouse.
The Bible clearly states that all forms of self-deception always come from?Heart? (Mark 7:20-23). We must ask ourselves, “What is causing your anger?”Could it be a power struggle within marriage?Is it a lack of biblical submission, is it an old resentment?Does that have anything to do with debt or other pressures?To be honest, there are a multitude of answers that could fuel anger, but these are no excuses for sinful behavior. So at the end of the day, to understand violence and conflict, we have to look for answers to internal problems. We need to encourage people to look at their hearts, what do they need they don’t get?What’s really the heart of the problem?
Titus 3. 3: “For we too were once foolish, disobedient, wayless, slaves of all kinds of passions and pleasures, living in evil and envy, loathing and hating one another.
James 3. 13-4. 12 provides a summary of the problem and presents God’s solution.
To know the essence of their anger and violence, we should encourage aggressors to examine their hearts, confess the truth, repent, and seek God’s help. In Philippians 4:13, Paul tells the church, “I can do anything in one that strengthens me. “This is true even for those who fight anger and hatred. Without a good understanding of ourselves, our own hearts, and the glorious gospel, we will never end violence at home.
There is a long, slow and painful walk while advising the abused and abused, but we will not demonize men as the only ones who commit domestic violence, you are likely to have someone (or more than one person) who suffers in silence in their congregation; let us not be guilty of keeping them trapped in fear and slavery for fear of being considered weak or not taken seriously.
By: Mez McConnell. © 20 diagrams. Website: 20schemes. com. Translated with permission. Source: Does the evangelical culture of machismo really contribute to domestic violence?
Original: Help people involved in domestic violence ©. Website: MinisterioFiel. com. br. All rights reserved. Translation: Camila Rebeca Teixeira. Review: André Alosio Oliveira da Silva.