On a hot fall day, I stood on the sidelines of my daughter’s cross-country career, supporting her as she worked hard to reach the finish line. I love watching her run and it was good for me to see her start making friends with her. first team in high school.
After the race, I went to congratulate her and wondered how long I should stay by her side. Can I go back to the water hut with her and two other girls on the team?I’m well aware of the warnings of being a helicopter mother. , but my daughter has always appreciated my presence.
- She’s my eldest.
- On all fours.
- Somehow.
- Do I feel like we grew up together?I learned what it means to be a mother by becoming a young woman.
- We spent four years studying at home.
- Which gave us more time to join.
- This is the kid who still wants to do household chores with me.
- Go run with me and help me in the kitchen.
- She’s the girl who befriended.
- Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel ready for her answer when I asked her if she was ready to go home after the race.
“Oh, Mom, the girls and I are going to cheer up the boys’ cross-country team. But it’ll last another thirty minutes, don’t you have to wait for me here?He said quietly. ” You can go in and out, and I’ll be back on the bus with the equipment. She smiled at me and I realized it was my cue to leave.
“Ah, it’s okay. Are you sure?
“I’m sure, Mom. I’ll text you when I get to school.
I saw her come off the hill laughing and chatting with her new teammates. And I went back to the car alone.
At the time, I had the impression that a chapter was closing. I am invaded by a mixture of emotions, the joy of seeing her independent, of making new friends, of the sadness of seeing her walk away from me.
I got in the car and turned on the radio to listen to country music that touched my heart and even deeper feelings of nostalgia. I wiped some tears when I called my husband to tell him I was on her way home alone. Among a few snort, I said, “It went very well. But I’m going home alone. She wanted to take the bus with the team back to school. I could hear my husband smiling on the phone.
“Was it so hard for you? Asked
? Maybe. ? Which meant yes. Is our child growing up?
As our children begin to spread their wings, how should we react as parents, how can we strike the right balance between protection, advice and greater independence?
My husband and I tried to stay anchored by a few simple threads
The truth of God’s word anchors us during the changing tides of adolescence. As my heart experiences a mixture of nostalgia and joy, the scriptures offer the right perspective. Ecclesiastes 3. 1 tells us: “Everything has its time set, and there is time for every goal under heaven. “There is a time for our children to be by our side in everyday life, but there is also a time for parents to step back and give our children more independence and freedom.
God’s promises remind me that his word will not return empty (Is 55:11), and that he will be diligent in doing the good work that has begun with our daughter (Ph 1. 6).
Our children’s adolescence should not be a moment of fear, but of trust. As we diligently seek to teach the biblical truth to our sons (Deut 6:6-9), the time has come to believe that these same statutes give our daughter wisdom and insight when it is beyond our reach.
With any new effort or distance from home, we have the opportunity to believe that God is working in our teen’s life, perhaps even in a way we cannot see.
As our daughter’s schedule filled up, I realized the importance of seizing every opportunity I had to get involved with her. The round trip from a workout offers quiet moments to have private conversations about your day. Invite your friends to our house. (and feed them!) It’s a way to learn more about relationships that are important to her. Going to your games, concerts and events lets you know that we are your biggest fans.
Our teens’ involvement in the world tells them they are valuable to us and allows us to keep talking about their lives properly.
In the midst of a period of change, many concerns can flood parents’ minds. Perhaps your son is far from Jesus and his heart is appreaded by despair. Heavenly Father knows our needs even before we ask them (Mt 6:32) and guides us in the conduct of our children (Ps 23:1), listens to us, cares for us, and rejoices when we tell him our concerns (1P 5. 7).
We continue to bring our specific demands on our children to God, trusting that when we ask, seek, and fight, He will respond with good in return (Lk 11:9-13). Jon Bloom offers specific prayers for our children in his excellent article, Seven Things to Pray for His Children (
Our children’s adolescence is full of change. Instead of sinking into the sadness of the loss of your childhood, thank your sweet memories and look to the future with joyful anticipation. The same God who gave you this precious child guides you on the path to adulthood.
As our children begin to spread their wings, we can find refuge under the wings of our loving God (Psalm 36,7).