I thought we were friends. The suffering behind these words can overshadow years of life, love and memories. All good times disappear into darkness when a friendship is betrayed. Investment is exhausted, vulnerability is limited, confidence is weakened, and love is questioned.
Is this inevitable because every friend is a sinner and sinners sin against each other and hurt themselves, intentionally or unintentionally?In any case, it is always harder to recover from the pain inflicted by a friend.
- The pain of conviction that comes from the godly rebuke of a friend who speaks the truth with love is a true gift (Proverbs 27.
- 6).
- But what if someone has sinned against you and is hurt by someone’s words.
- Betrayal.
- Or manipulation? Do you consider a friend? How do you deal with it with your friend and how do you go from pain to reconciliation?.
In the midst of your pain, trust that God can work in your relationship so that you can grow in both the grace and knowledge of Christ: “Do you trust in Him, O people, at all times?(Psalm 62. 8).
It is the glory (or beauty) of those who ignore an offense (Proverbs 19. 11). This requires prudence, patience, maturity, and wisdom. Ignoring an offense adorns the gospel and is a loving response that shows that we are truly disciples of Christ. (John 13:35).
In the Disney film Frozen, Elsa renounced caution and caution, renounting the ”good girl” to unleash her icy fury in the village of Arendelle. His actions negatively affected everyone around him. In our flesh, are we tempted to manifest our repressed and our “cold”?our friend instead of trusting our Seigneur. La not let us go?(“I’m free”) like an ice queen. Instead, he dies for himself, showing shame and making Jesus suffer, who identifies more with us in our sufferings and who helps us in our difficult times.
One caveat: ignoring an offense is not an authorization to use silence as a weapon or to feed bad feelings that will then re-attack the relationship, but it is about having a pure conscience before God that this pain is not on a level that must be addressed (at least not now), but a resolve “forgives and forgets”. It’s better to beat your friend than to win an argument.
Sometimes you can’t just ignore an offense. If your first thought is “you have to talk about it,” it may be your own righteousness that speaks, not the Spirit. Our goal must be reconciliation born of love.
However, we will find legitimate moments and times when we have to deal with an injury. We can try to correct the error, but remember that vengeance belongs to the Lord and he will pay (Romans 12:19). call to attack and retaliate. It’s a loving call to biblical rebuke.
In Jesus’ teaching of sin, he said to the disciples
If your brother sins against you, give it back; If you repent, forgive him; if seven times a day I sin against you and seven times I come to you saying, I’m sorry, forgive him?(Luke 17:3-4).
Repressing is sincerely arguing with your neighbor (Leviticus 19:17), report your offense (Matthew 18:15) in a spirit of kindness (Galatians 6. 1) in the hope that your friend will repent.
But Jesus’ teaching goes much further, saying that we can be hurt again and that we must always be willing to forgive. Forgiveness can seem almost impossible if we forget Christ. He forgave all our faults; having canceled the debt receipt, who was against us?(Colosssenses 2: 13-14). When we were in open rebellion against Jesus, he died for us (Romans 5:8). Even now, like those whose sins were stuck on the cross with Christ and whose lives were resurrected with him, “If we confess our sins, is he faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all evil?”? (1 John 1. 9).
If he has been wounded by a friend, pour his heart into him in prayer asking for wisdom, forgiveness, and reconciliation (Psalm 62. 8). Here are some reasons to pray that can help you cope with your injury wisely and gracefully:
Is it worth ignoring an offense if you can, and trust that God is working on you and your friend’s heart?Pray for wisdom, love, and reconciliation, rebuke with kindness, and be willing to forgive. Christ teaches this: “No one has greater love than this: to give someone their own life for their friends?(John 15:13). He then calls his disciples his friends (John 15:14-15), and a little later he literally died for his friends.
What if Jesus made such a radical and loving sacrifice for his friends? friends who would doubt and deny it? we can certainly strive to restore our broken friendships. Godly friendships are a testimony to the world. In them we manifest our love for Christ and for others.