She was a Christian friend and single friend (just a friend, actually!), venting her frustration with immature men. It was frivolous, after all this kind of explosion is common. It was for a coffee and it hurt!
? Christian men? Gross!
- As a Christian.
- College student.
- Single student.
- Without stable work and without financial independence.
- I returned with anxiety and insecurity.
- She wasn’t attacking me directly; just make a general complaint to the universe.
- The words came out of his mouth effortlessly.
- As if he had uttered them a million times before.
- And I was not prepared for the adjectives that would be included in the conversation: “immature.
- “Children.
- “? Lazy?” Weak.
- “Pathetic.
- ” See?” Men.
In a way, the tone we use to speak of young Christians today would obviously be disrespectful in other contexts. And, to see the obvious, what hurts the most is when it comes from our female and single counterparts. There are several legitimate reasons why single Christian women would be tempted to criticize immature men. (1) Non-Christian women offer a clever and intuitive package on how to beat a “man. ” (2) She (or a friend) dated a guy, got along well, and reinterpreted him through the lens of injury as a “man. ” (3) Offending immature boys is a fun and easy way to escape the terrifying reality of celibacy. Okay, that’s understandable, but can I say something? Is not acceptable. The term “man” (also known as “big baby”, “boy” or the like) is a stigma. It is used to personally humiliate and degrade a class of Christians. It is a way to get out of trouble. Show contempt and arrogance. Worse still, it defines the value of people created in the image of God according to how their gender roles unfold.
You can say, “But there are so many Christians who show disappointing behaviors!?That is true, but I am not convinced that categories such as sin or laziness, common explanations of such behavior, correctly capture the essence of the problem. Laziness goes beyond the problem itself, it can be more symptomatic than a systemic problem, let’s interpret a man’s classic behaviors through views other than laziness:
The postponement of marriage can help: escape from sharing a physical, emotional, and spiritual space, close in a personal space.
Neglecting the Bible and the Church can help: escaping intimacy with God, approaching your personal life.
Wandering without ambition can contribute to: the flight of working hours, the closure of your personal time.
Playing video games all the time can help: escape from external reality, approach a virtual reality.
Living in your parents’ house can help: filter out external pressures, lock yourself in your inner comfort.
Lazy? It’s a shallow description. ?Escape? It leads to an explanation of the heart. The scriptures tell us that the heart is always active (Genesis 6. 5; Jeremiah 17. 5; 1 Peter 1. 22), so our explanation of the heart must always have an active voice (I do not say here that the problem is flying, but it helps us to delve a little deeper into the concept of laziness).
Escape? Open the door to a series of active words and a host to other realities of the heart: fear (?What if I fail?), Anxiety (?I can’t face it !?), depression ( ? I hate, I hate my life?. ) and thousands more. ” Would I rather run than expose myself to public shame?(cf. Revelation 6. 16).
These categories give us a new perspective
What is needed is not for the Church of Jesus Christ to rip out these fig leaves, but to begin to wear the garments of the gospel (Genesis 3:21). The solution to immaturity among young Christians is not to memorize truths or tighten the rules, but a Person, who has not avoided our realities, has confronted them for us: Jesus (Lk 2:52; Philippians 2,6-9)?Jesus, with his intercession, his mercy and his grace.
What can a Christian woman do in the face of this phenomenon of immaturity, as well as venture and offend?Here are some ways to help:
1. Prayer of intercession
Pray that more parents will take their role seriously by teaching their children to face the world and not run away. Pray that men, in general, will do the same for young people who do not have a father present. Pray that there will be a change in men, not only a change of behavior, but a change of heart: to go to God and neighbour, even in the midst of inner sin and external oppression (Luke 10:27).
2. Mercy
Speak of the good of others (Ephesians 4:31); Treat the immaturity of children in the same way that you would treat any other problem within the church: with diligence, faithfulness, and love, the same treatment Paul includes in his call to “be a man”?(1 Corinthians 16: 13-14 ). This means that women should not react cynically or use the term “man” (Ephesians 4. 29).
3. Faith
God disciplines immature men to make them grow (Hebrews 12:11). He doesn’t need your false comments to help you (Proverbs 11. 12). He trusts that God has not abandoned men to immaturity, but to the work that has begun (Philippians 1. 6) is coming to an end.
4. Grace
Every temptation is common to mankind (1 Corinthians 10:13). The fear that exists in a man’s heart can manifest itself in different (and gender-specific) ways in his life. No matter who you go out with, he will be a sinful man (Romans 3:23), immature and fearful, and if he is a Christian, God triumphs over the evil that is against him and in him (Philippians 2:13; Romans 16:20). I’m not saying that Jesus wants you to go out with a loser, he doesn’t want to. What I’m saying is: don’t just go out with a Gospel-centered Christian; Christian-centered date (1 Peter 4. 8).
Kierkegaard said that “a woman’s nature has endowed her with such love of such a sensitive instinct that the greatest male weight is, by comparison, nothing. “Sisters, they prove Kierkegaard’s right. Cover ourselves with prayers, mercy, faith, and grace, and we, as men, will seek to provide them in divine discipline and aspirations; then, mutual admiration for Him who helps us in our weaknesses can flourish in due course (Romans 8. 26).