I couldn’t eat. How can someone who said he loved me and loves me just leave?I remember waking up in the morning and realizing that the end of our 2-year relationship wasn’t just a nightmare. my stomach and feelings of sadness and devastation invaded me. Would you find happiness again?
To make matters worse, although this young man thought it better for us to split up, he informed me that he still had feelings for me and that he wanted us to “remain friends. “So we went to our two different universities to get started. our second year in a mess of complex emotions.
- For 3 months.
- I went through an emotional roller coaster every time I saw an email with his name attached.
- Or received a call from him.
- Or especially when he asked me to see myself on Thanksgiving.
- He was probably going to tell me cuánto.
- Me missed her and wanted to be together again.
- But after hours of conversation.
- He showed no signs of resuming our relationship.
- When I asked him about it.
- His words cut like a knife: “You are like a sister in Christ to me.
- “.
So I realized it was just friends? It didn’t help me move on. I lived in what I expected, instead of living in the present, with all the courage I could muster, I asked my ex-boyfriend to stop calling me, to stop sending me emails, and to stop asking me to see myself. move on when I always expected us to be together again. Taking this big step forward, with all the pain that accompanied it, made me think of my Bible like never before. I was looking for hope in the midst of my bleeding heart. Psalms were like a comforting remedy for my sore soul:
The Lord is close to the afflicted and saves the oppressed in spirit; The afflictions of the righteous are numerous, but the Lord delivers them all (Psalm 34:18-19).
Why are you despondent, O my soul, why are you mad at me?Wait in God; because I will praise him again, my help and my God (Psalm 42. 5?6).
And the promise of Psalm 84. 11 that God would not deny any good to those who walk in righteousness?It was the rock I stuck to when I lost it and was tempted not to trust my own decision. Choosing not to communicate with my ex-boyfriend was an act of trust in God, no wonder I was trying to call him for various reasons, to manipulate the way I saw him, or to look for excuses to send an email (sending SMS was not an option many years ago!), believing in the promise of Psalm 84. 11 was the force in which I remained.
I told myself that if he really loved me and wanted to come back to me, he would look for me with all my heart, until then I needed to free myself and get on with my life.
Recently, I received messages from single women asking me how to deal with the pain and loneliness of a breakup. A young woman felt she still needed to remain friends with her ex-boyfriend to show her the love of Christ. the pain he felt when he ended the relationship and the complexity of seeing him almost every day at work. Despite this, he always asked him to remain his friend despite the difficulty of his situation.
I recognize that every relationship is unique and I don’t claim to know all the answers to any of them, but I want to alert singles to think they can stay, just friends? With someone they had a long-term romantic relationship with. Most of the time, one of the people involved still has feelings for the other, and like me, you might secretly hope that staying in touch will lead to the reestablishment of the relationship.
Putting our hope in a renewed relationship rather than putting our hope in God and the plans it has for us is dangerous. I’ve seen a lot of young women get hurt several times by persisting in something they weren’t supposed to be. Today you are heartbroken, tempted to continue sending messages, or communicating with someone of great importance in the past, consider these ways to move forward in your life, and trust in God’s greatest plan.
In the two years since this escape, I often call them my years of “germination in the greenhouse”. The pain of my painful heart sent me to seek the scriptures to find comfort and hope. Let God use the pain of your life to guide me. promises of infinite joy, strength and hope.
After losing the person you enjoy spending your time with the most, you need others to surround you, listen to you, and direct you to Christ. The friends I made in campus ministry were a lifesaver for me (especially a young woman who spent 4 years in discipeding me during this difficult time).
Get out of yourself and the pain you feel as you look for opportunities to serve (1 Peter 4. 19). What needs of your church could you meet?The summer after my separation, I went on a two-month mission project out of state. It was one of the best decisions I made because it helped me strengthen myself spiritually and emotionally.
The following year, after our breakup, I went abroad to study in Spain, adding a physical distance between the two, without the risk of being in different places, helped me move on, even if you meet in the office. , don’t do everything you can to try to talk and communicate.
No good escapes those who walk in righteousness (Psalm 84. 11). God promises to restore the wounds of broken hearts. Loneliness and pain will diminish as we look at Jesus and trust that He can satisfy beyond any human relationship.