“Because they don’t know the words. “
It was the rude response of our deacon’s president when someone at our quarterly members’ meeting asked why the fan in the basement of the church was buzzing.
- I arrived at my current church in July 1992 and.
- For a stable decade.
- Our business meetings were marked by love.
- Conviviality.
- Simplicity and good humor.
- The church was not a utopia.
- We were sinners.
- And as such we sometimes hurt and offend.
- Problems arose as elsewhere.
- But generally we resolved our differences quickly and joyfully carried out the activities of the Lord.
- In the first ten years that I served in our church.
- We focused on growth in grace through evangelism and discipleship.
- It remains.
- Modest in size.
- And the members.
- For the most part.
- Peacefully appreciated the Lord and one of the others.
In retrospect, I regret my lack of appreciation for this moment of peace in life. Although I worked in the ministry for many years before 1992, I still had a naive and idealistic vision of how the unity of the Church can be temporal and fragile. I have often heard my fellow shepherds talk about the constant tension they felt in their congregations, the constant discouragement they felt in their hearts. I tried to support them, but I just couldn’t understand their feelings.
Why didn’t you know the Word? is the brief response of how we went from people who love peace to those who are skilled in war. Don’t you ever know how bad your roof is until it rains, and in 2002, without warning, a flood?in the form of dissension, gossip, slander, false accusations, public outbursts of anger and a general sense of mistrust.
The scalpel that exposed the cancer under the skin was not remarkable: an innocent request from a faithful member to update church statutes. They were written in 1933 and have hardly been performed since. To read, review, and, if necessary, modify them, you had to search for them first. Finally, under a stack of irrelevant papers we find a copy (we may have found the copy). Part of the language was so old-fashioned that we needed it?Rosetta Stone, to decipher its true meaning. No one took the task seriously and, in retrospect, I see it was a critical mistake, as our (my) negligence and lack of attention to detail was what caused the lack of confidence. Either way, cancer in the church had metastasized and would have arisen, eventually, even if we had consciously addressed revisions to the statutes.
When we introduced changes that reflected the ecclesiology of our church, we were accused of conspiracy and intentional attempt to destroy the church, and most surprisingly, these accusations came from those who had previously greatly supported leadership.
The coup was so devastating and dramatic that, for all the purposes, I gave up, technically I didn’t give up because I didn’t actually send my resignation, I gave up because I started looking tenaciously for a move to another church. .
Previously, I had been very specific about my theological beliefs, these convictions dissolved when I began my search for a new church. Did I do a search? Online? And I found a generic search for shepherds?And I sent a lot of resumes with little attention to doctrine and theology, I was exhausted, no matter where I went, I just had to look for a quick way out.
My exhaustion was not caused by physical exhaustion, I never liked the idea of saving a gap year, nor was my exhaustion caused by the discouragement of a failed ministry, by the grace of God, we have seen a constant flow of greetings, baptisms, and proofs of grace among the Saints. Simply put, my exhaustion was caused by a furious season of infighting in the church.
Then I felt like I had to go my way. However, despite all the bait I threw into the sea of the church, I only got a bite. A church that adhered to the principles of a church with goals?Asked for an interview, did I disagree?And I did the best I could, desperately trying to get hired. Fortunately, this church didn’t love me and to continue feeding my family, I was quiet where I was.
Meanwhile, in the “cage fight,” those who opposed the leadership of the elders became increasingly angry and influential. However, these people were not as threatening as those who said they were friends, but secretly they were enemies. categorize the members?the sheep of Christ!? as friends?enemies at our alumni meetings. We felt that we can’t totally trust anyone, the cars surrounded us and our goal was to survive.
As best I could, I had preached, taught, and emphasized the importance of the Bible every week for ten years. He lived under the false assumption that because he constantly called people to submit to the affirmations of the Bible, our church was well protected from internal collapse. He had assumed that if we approached the controversies with chapters and verses, the church would be firm.
But then we realized that our critics did not know the scriptures, nor did they see them as a way to solve problems theologically. I realized how easy it was for evangelical churches like mine to adopt slogans that affirm that the Bible is God’s infallible Word. , simply to allow these slogans to be overcome by pragmatism and “forms that seem right to a man”.
These discoveries have emptied the bullets from our weapon. If the statute of the church of 1933 surpassed the Holy Scriptures, then we did not have a Book of Rules inspired by the Spirit and no defense.
As elders, we try with love to involve our adversaries with the texts of the scriptures. They didn’t physically cover their ears, but they might as well. “Don’t play Bible bingo with us,” they said. They put this mantra on their shields and continued to fight.
How does a shepherd survive if you take the Bible out of his hands?Let the Word of God be neutralized and it will run out faster than fireworks.
“Why didn’t you know the Word?”
That is the fundamental reason why this dilemma has been right for me; I knew the Word because I knew the facts, stories, and main doctrines of the Bible well; but I did not know the Word about proper ecclesiology; the elders were pious and engaged. men of impeccable integrity; they also knew the scriptures in depth.
But we were weak in our doctrines of belonging, discipline, ecclesiology, and congregationalism led by priests. Looking at the picture of today’s evangelical churches, I would honestly say that our church, during our time of crisis, was relatively strong compared to most. However, it was a small consolation that brought no comfort during the storm.
Looking back, I am convinced that if we had been more careful in our membership process, and if we had involved offenders in the foundations of church love discipline, we could have avoided some of our problems.
For ten peaceful years, our faulty ecclesiology has never caused any significant pain. God was and is very merciful to our church, He was merciful not only because He gave us a decade of serenity, and not just because He allowed our “civil war. “Finally, he was merciful and kind in allowing this storm to shake our church.
Personally, this season of exhaustion and anguish has taught me empathy for my fellow ministers, my sinful pride as pastor of a church where peace abounds has come to light, and with it came the gift of repentance. I am no longer so quick, impetuous, or courageous in giving counsel to other pastors without first tenderly considering the fragile nature of sinful congregations; In addition, thanks to our judgment, we have strengthened our ecclesiology and become more sober and vigilant in our decisions.
For my part, the biggest advantage of this horrible trauma is that it brought me closer to the Lord Himself, this episode did not end because we, the elders, made an intelligent discovery or used a strategy that changed the situation, on the contrary, I had surrendered emotionally. I ran out of gas in my exhausted departmental tank, it’s not a biblical term, but it describes well what was going on.
So what was the secret to survival?
Because I knew the Word, the Incarnate Word, Jesus Christ.
This is the final answer to how the exhaustion season has been replaced by renewed joy and enthusiasm to continue. I cannot give you an answer about how our church has been transformed and has once again become a place of harmony and love.
For the purposes of this article, the simple answer, of how I personally survived, is Jesus Christ Himself!I was like Jeremiah, quite ready to throw in the towel: “When I thought: I will not remember it and will not speak in his name, then it was in my heart like a burning fire, enclosed in my bones, I am no longer in pain and I can no longer (Jr 20:9).
I wanted to give up, but the Lord would not allow it, if it were up to me, A long time ago that I would have left, so I do not want to present myself as an example of perseverance in the midst of pastoral care. Come on, I’m quite the opposite.
Paul explains our pastoral vocation very well in the last chapter he wrote. He told Timothy to “fully direct his ministry. ” Even a superficial reading of the two letters to Timothy shows that the “Ministry” often involves battles within the church. I was actually in the ministry, I thought it was composed of study, preaching, teaching, evangelism, and discipleship. It’s an accurate list but extremely incomplete. The ministry also involves war.
Attacks come from the world, of course, but even more deadly attacks come from other believers. Paul’s last words express this frustration:
“Try to come and see me quickly. For Others, having loved the present century, abandoned me and went to Thessaloniki; Crescent went to Galacia, to Titus, to Dalmatia. Only Lucas is with me? Alexander, the boilermaker, caused me many evils. The Lord will pay for it according to his works, are you also moving away from him, because you have strongly resisted our words?(2 Tim 4. 9?11a, 14?15).
Paul summarizes his disappointment in verse 16: “In my first defense, no one was in my favor. If Paul, perhaps the greatest Christian who has ever lived, has gone through these trials relatively alone, then I know it would hardly be worth it. mentioning my little evidence.
At that moment, I found them important, I stayed in the ring only because “the Lord looked at me and strengthened me, as Paul told Timothy.
In part, the Lord stayed with me using a lot of human support. My elders, my family and a lot of wonderful people in the church remained brave and loyal. For your support, I’m very grateful.
But, after all, my survival was a matter of Jesus himself being my part, my guide, my comfort, and my rock, while the whole world around me was collapsing. I was alone crying, physically shaking, unable to sleep and overwhelmed. out of concern, it was in those dark hours that Christ supported me and supported me so that I could continue.
That is why I have said before that God is very merciful in allowing this concern to invade our church. Without the trials that led me to exhaustion, I myself would not have experienced Christ’s mercies experimentally, to support his shepherds when his forces failed. The subjective nature of this liberation was bestowed by Christ through his Holy Spirit and is based on the objective and immutable truth of the gospel.
About two years after this crisis, a sermon by Pastor Mike Bullmore introduced me to the glorious truths of the functional centrality of the gospel. The immutable facts that Jesus died for me, and now lives as my mediator, have become the dominant truths that now motivate my life and ministry.
So, for anyone who may be in the midst of exhaustion, because of exhaustion or an apparent lack of fruit, conflict, or other difficulty, please look to Jesus, please yell at Jesus, please approach Jesus, please return to his first love and ponder the glorious gospel and its unsygable benefits to those who have been redeemed from him. Isn’t knowing the Incarnate Word just the short answer?It’s the only answer to overcome tiredness in the ministry.