What is the number one question for expecting parents? “Do you want it to be a boy or a girl?” And what is the typical response? “It doesn’t matter as long as my baby is healthy. ” This seemingly innocent answer may reveal a fundamental belief that resides in the hearts of many of us: that there is nothing worse for a father and mother than having a child in poor health. There is a great fear that we (or someone we love) will have a child with special needs. Let’s talk about that fear.
We’d like to have this conversation at our kitchen table. We’d love to hear your story before we ask you to listen to ours. My wife Kris makes a delicious cup of coffee with cinnamon buns that seem to come from another planet. Our prayer is that this book looks less like an academic discussion than a conversation between friends.
- People often take a brochure like this to read for a specific reason.
- What’s yours? You may have just learned that your child has physical or mental issues.
- This diagnosis probably refers to one of your grandchildren or someone you care about.
- God may have brought a person with special needs to his church and you wonder how best to prove it.
- Your love for your family.
Of course, this format does not allow us to hear what motivated you specifically to read it, as a conversation would allow, but, my friend, God knows. You think so? His Word goes so far as to say that even the hairs of your head are all numbered (Mt 10:30). Your past, present and future story is not hidden from his compassionate gaze.
The Lord blessed Kris and me with three children, two of whom are adopted. Andrew, our adopted son, is blind and has many other mental and physical difficulties. In many ways, he acts like a little boy and may never be able to live alone.
As I write, Andrew has just turned eighteen. We are in the process of organizing our house to take care of you as an adult.
We have no desire to soften our history. There are some aspects of Andrew’s care that are difficult every day. Physical and mental disabilities are the result of a world imbued with sin. But we’ve learned that the hard part isn’t necessarily bad. We have experienced that God can truly reconcile all things for our well-being. (Romans 8. 28).
Two thousand years ago, Jesus made the following invitation
Come unto me all ye that are tired and overwhelmed, and I will relieve you; carry with my yoke and learn from me, who am meek and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. Is my yoke soft and my load light? (Mt 11. 28-30)
This wonderful passage gave our families four fundamental truths that guided us in Andrew’s creation in a way that honors our Lord.
God does not expect His people to have a false smile covering a broken heart. All parents have dreams and aspirations for their children. Imagine them playing sports, getting married, having a family and taking care of yourself as you get older, it’s perfectly normal for anyone. father considering the birth of a child. These dreams are often shattered when you are informed of your child’s diagnosis.
Your child may never be able to talk. Their life expectancy can be greatly reduced. You may never be able to show or make love and never play sports, climb a tree, read a book, or go on a date.
Your child may need life care. You may never be able to eat or use the bathroom unans helped. Simple words like Mom and Dad? They may never come out of your mouth.
It’s a difficult word for any parent. But this is the reality of many parents who have had the challenge and privilege of raising a child with special needs.
In his invitation, Jesus addressed people who were “tired and overwhelmed. “He did not ignore the adversity and pain that comes from living in a fallen world.
Caring for a child with special needs can be exhausting. We go through this when we’re taking care of a blind child. One of the first lessons we learned was that sleeping doesn’t make sense to Andrew. It’s always dark in your world, so why not?Wake up at two in the morning? He went years and years without ever sleeping at night. Never.
Andrew also had trouble learning to walk. As he couldn’t see, he had no motivation to get up and go anywhere or get something. I’ve never seen another child walk to have a role model. Raising his head so far from the ground terrified him so much.
Andrew also has complicated sensory problems, especially in his feet. Even touching the ground with his feet was extremely painful. This meant that, until Andrew was eight years old, he had to be transported or placed in a car or wheelchair whenever he needed to move. There have been many days when one or both of us have become tired and overwhelmed.
What does a Christian do in a situation like this? Ignore the pain, why don’t adults cry? Do you have a yellow smile? Just pretend that everything is fine? Approaches like these do not even come close to what the Bible advocates, nor are they consistent with Jesus’ invitation. God wants his people to really yell at him. Jesus said, “Come to me. ” He calls us to bring our questions, our wounds and
even complaints to your throne for free
A scripture we value most is found in Psalm 61: 1-2: “Listen, O God, my call; answer my prayer. From the ends of the earth, I cry for you, in the breaking of my heart. Take me to the rock that’s too high for me?.
In your book Soul Physicians, does bible adviser Robert Kellemen write about the importance of developing spiritual openness?That he defines as courageously telling the truth about life, “in which I come face to face with the reality of the outside and the suffering of the interior. “He goes on to say, “Frankly, I admit what’s going on with me and I feel what’s going on inside me. “
That’s absolutely true. Friends, don’t listen to anyone tell you they have to be some kind of?Super Mom? Or “Super Dad” while raising your child with special needs. A sweet Christianity that denies the reality of suffering in this life is non-biblical He will not be able to support you as he overcomes the challenges and trials that lie ahead on this journey.
Don’t be afraid to express your questions, confusions, doubts and complaints
Some people really think it’s wrong to question God. Be? This is not the message of the Bible. For example, the prophet Habakkuk was wounded and very perplexed at all the injustices that surrounded him. So, what did he do? He took his questions to the throne of God.
How long, Lord, will I cry and you will not listen to me?I’ll yell at you, Violence, and you won’t save?
Why are you showing me iniquity and making me see the oppression?For before me there is destruction and violence; there are conflicts and the dispute arises.
Therefore, the law relaxes and justice never manifests itself, for the pervert surrounds the righteous, justice is twisted (Hc 1:2-4).
Thus a true conversation resounds between the Lord and one of his faithful servants. Commenting on Habacuc’s questions, one writer said:
God is a friend of those who have sincere doubts and dare to speak to God instead of him. Prayer that includes an element that questions God can be a way to increase faith. Expressing doubts and shouting about unfair situations in the world shows someone’s confidence. in God and the certainty that God has an answer to all the intractable problems of mankind.
The same goes for a man named Asaf, who wrote Psalm 73, one of the most important discussions about suffering throughout the Bible. We encourage you to drink deeply at the source of this psalm, which speaks of a man who approached God with questions and complaints Did he do so with great respect?There is no doubt about that, but he admitted, in words that Jesus himself would use later, that he was tired and overwhelmed because he had problems and challenges beyond his own wisdom and strength.