After all, it was God’s idea!
This question, so disconcerting in our twenties and thirties, can become quite painful as the decades lead us to middle age and our prospects for marriage diminish. After all, do we know the statistics? There is more chance of an event] than getting married after [inserting any age over 39].
- Does this mean that we singles over the age of 40 are doomed to live in miserable solitude?Definitely not.
- First of all.
- We can forget about statistics because ultimately only God determines who gets married and who doesn’t.
- If marriage is God’s plan for us.
- Sooner or later we’ll get married.
More importantly, we can be sure that a lonely life is not God’s plan for us, whether we marry or not. God created us to live in community, in a family of believers, and his work in our lives aims to take us there. : “Does God make the lonely man live as a family?(Psalm 68. 6). So the real question is not whether we will end up alone, it is whether we are willing for divine companionship to be anything but marriage.
Of course, trusting in God’s provision does not mean that we will never feel alone. So how is there a specific loneliness of marriage?In fact, aren’t the lonely people I know single, but those who are going through a difficult marriage?are specific aspects of celibacy loneliness:
This is the feeling of a young single woman among friends whose conversations revolve around wedding plans.
This is how a 30-year-old bachelor feels when maturity is measured by marital status.
This is how a 40-year-old feels when others make an incorrect connection between their celibacy and their sexual orientation.
The loneliness of singles is also stimulated by the marital happiness we perceive (or imagine) that others cherish. Trusting in God in the midst of all this pain is not about seeking more intensely a partner, not even praying for more patience. a matter of resting deeper in Christ and finding in the process all the blessings of union with him, a deeper and more joyful union than any human marriage.
That is why the pain relief of unwanted celibacy begins when we ask: Do I trust God?Don’t we trust him if we don’t think he’s good at governing the details of our individual lives?Including our marital status. If we are single today, it is God’s goodness to us today.
As we rest in Christ and trust in God’s goodness, the loneliness of being single becomes an opportunity to build the whole body of Christ; In other words, we can serve and glorify God not in spite of our bachelor, but by virtue of that. .
As we rely on God’s good plans for ourselves, we show ourselves and those around us that single people should not complain, and as long as we remain in Christ, we do not see celibacy as a problem to be solved. there will be no marriage in heaven except marriage between Christ and the church (Matthew 22:30; Revelation 19,7), singles are particularly able to show others what heaven will look like.
That’s why celibacy is really a sign of hope, not despair. We can show this hope to our married brothers and sisters for the way we handle our celibacy, and we can also show Christ’s compassion to those who feel alone.
As we watch our friends build families, is it not necessary to feel stolen or excluded, because in the age of the new covenant?Our time? The family’s emphasis on the scriptures is not mother, father, and three children. of the Church. When the biblical priority is reversed, the task is made difficult rather than helping the growth of God’s people.
Of course, we must seek to defend the importance of the family nucleus, but not make it an idol, if we consider what the apostles have pointed out, we see that their emphasis was much more on the Great Commission, personal holiness and the growth of the family of the Church, and it is from this family that no Christian should be excluded.
As singles we are in Christ, we often find, to our surprise, that there are unique blessings that accompany singles. On a purely practical level, we have more control over our time than our married friends (I say “more control over” to correct the misconception that single women always have more time overall). And single women can experience their personal preferences by planning social activities, holidays, and service areas in the church and community. Single women encourage and glorify God by identifying their particular blessings, receiving them voluntarily, and using them well.
The best privilege of being single is by far the greatest opportunity to become a disciple and serve Jesus. This, more than anything else? This is how God remedys loneliness. And there is a satisfaction that comes from the experience of these special benefits that our married brothers and sisters cannot fully feel. Are we in a good mood? If we trust in God, we will certainly know the value and benefits of celibacy.
When we do, do we start to value our lives? Not in spite of our celibacy, but indeed because of it. Women rarely or never sought after by men, or men whose search for women has been rejected (one or more times), often question It is for these people that Christ comes, not to increase their self-esteem, but to make them find their worth in Him. As we appreciate Christ, our own value becomes more evident, and in the meantime we find that at some point along the way, we cannot define our personality and well-being for our marital status.
Celibacy is not the second best alternative, on the contrary, it is a privileged vocation with unique blessings to appreciate and spread to others. Are we ready to take possession of these blessings without or until God calls us to marriage?That’s the real question. What about the ones who say?Yes? They’ll never be disappointed.