I regularly meet a single forty-year-old Christian (let’s call him Martin), a drug addict for years, with a life of robbery, fragile health and indignity. Since he came to Christ, he has gone through a gospel-led metamorphosis and reaped the spiritual and material blessings of sobriety. Martin now has his own apartment, food, health and transportation, all paid for with public assistance (he cannot work physically). For a man who had once survived terribly, because of the change he sometimes got through shiny shoes, Martin’s relative generosity seemed to prevent him from complaining, I would say, of anything. So I was surprised when, a few weeks ago, Martin confessed to me how lonely I was and that there seemed to be no way out. Despite everything I had now, I still felt a great emptiness and a lack of human relationships.
This moment clarified something to me: other good things in life cannot satisfy the need for the company of a human being.
- But the world seems to pay less attention to Genesis 2’s maxim that it’s not good to be alone.
- In our time.
- One of the furtive and relatively new (some might say.
- Pathological) aspects of American life increased relational distance.
- In the 1980s.
- The percentage of American adults calling themselves has doubled from 20% to 40%.
- In the Washington.
- D.
- C.
- Area.
- Where I live.
- 81% of 20- to 34-year-olds are single.
- And statistics are pretty much the same with other urban centers that have proven to be an irresistible attraction to the millennial generation.
The tendency to increase isolation and stay single is clear. So how will the local church serve an increasing number of people who remain single?How will pastors and elders serve the congregations of believers for whom being single means not only being single, but being alone?
Service to singles begins with recognition of Jesus’ special, intimate and eternal relationship with the believer. Believers who struggle with the feeling of not being loved, abandoned or isolated can turn to the promises of the Bible to be loved intimately and known to the god of all creation, never leaves us or abandons us, lives in us. He calls his sheep by name and will be with us until the end of time. And one day we will be with him face to face for all eternity, so satisfyingly that there will be no marriage.
But a high degree of pastoral wisdom must be exercised to know when and how to use this part of theology as a stimulus. For those who suffer from loneliness, these words may seem condescending, an inert remedy to gray moments of absence and misery.
Singles living in it? Now they know full well that Jesus can only be another one for the Christmas party in the office, he can’t get your recipe when you’re in bed and he doesn’t gently put his head on his shoulder while watching a movie. Sometimes recognizing and empathy for the pain a person may experience is the best relational balm for sadness and often provides a foundation for confidence for future pastoral interactions. Use discretion in mitigating the pain of loneliness, so that your concern does not seem superficial in response to practical sadness and frustration.
In addition, its theology must be accompanied by ministerial action, here are some tips:
Is the excess of single moments of calm sometimes used for “rumination”? unhealthy aspects of life that you don’t like. This feedback loop? Self-centered negativity can interfere with a single Christian’s recognition of what the Lord provides in his or her life, creating a very deep focus on what he or she does not have. Make sure you listen to what your faithful singles think and feel, so that you can pastorally correct an inner monologue that, if left unchecked, can turn dark and sinful.
Their pastoral orientation must begin with the certainty that single people respond to the despair of loneliness by communicating with God, as David does in Psalm 142. In verses 1 and 2, David confesses a profound need for God to be merciful in his affliction. . Verse 4 shows the total despair and loneliness you feel. In verse 5, he does not give in to despair, but declares his trust in God in the midst of his despair. It concludes in verse 7 with the confidence that God will eventually deliver him.
Encourage them to feel comforted by the fact that God is using his unique time to accomplish his eternally significant work, as Paul does in 1 Corinthians 7. We belong to the Lord anyway, and he can use our lives anyway. In my life, if that means spending time in a dirty apartment with a former drug addict instead of taking a vacation with his wife, then let him be the glory.
Elvis Presley once remarked, “I feel alone from time to time. Sometimes I’m alone in a crowd?” A common experience for single people is feeling more unknown and forgotten in the crowd. Identify the people in your church who are on the margins?and build a real relationship with them individually.
I think it might be more convenient, for example, for a family to have several people alone at once for dinner. That’s perfectly true, but a better tactic, as far as possible, might be to invite one person at a time. Time exclusively with an individual will strengthen the fact that he is a distinguished and valuable person in the local body of Christ, not just one of many in a herd of bachelors.
The world can consider an individual who? The age of marriage in ‘loser’, ‘single’, ‘weird’, ‘someone who never came out of the closet?’Etc. But just as we are all born as marginalized separated from God, we must reflect Christ by calling ourselves whom the world looks up and down. Paul writes in Romans 12:16: “Instead of taking pride, let yourself be carried away by humility”; Just as Tiago clearly urges us: “Do not distinguish between people, treat them with favoritism” (Tg 2. 1 NVI).
The sad reality of living in a fallen world is that many single people may have patterns of behavior, unfavorable physical characteristics, or personality peculiarities that alienate potential spouses or others. One more reason why we should actively seek his spiritual good.
Pray from the pulpit for the bachelors and loners of your congregation (but don’t mention the names!) Pray that cold singles will feel comforted by Christ’s love. Pray they find wonderful husbands to marry. And pray that your church and its members will have a structure to serve those for whom life can be a little more difficult.