Raising single Christians who want to marry and fight discontent is not always easy, but it is a privilege and is a stewardship entrusted to every pastor.
Here are nine truths to teach and highlight disused singles in your church.
- It is essential to remember and communicate that single Christians are not a particular kind of human beings who really need to fight to be happy.
- We all have to.
After all, discontent is not a characteristic of the hearts of singles; is a feature of human hearts. Human? (1C 10. 13), contaminating all stages of life since Adam and Eve not only trusted the word of God against the murmur of the serpent (Genesis 3-1-7).
If we are honest, discontent may seem small compared to other sins, but it is nothing. He’s serious, because he’s lying about God: he says it’s not enough to support us.
Single or married, no one needs to learn to be dissatisfied. We all have a PhD on the subject. Even the discovery of the Apostle’s “Mystery of Contentment” did not happen naturally; needed to learn it (Phil 4:11). He enrolled in the school of contentment, and so must we.
Therefore, cultivating joy is less like a medicine than a healthy diet. This happens for months and years, not hours and days.
So tell the unmarried Christians in your church what you say to all the Christians in your church: God’s ultimate goal is not to change your circumstances, although He can change them, it’s about changing you.
I hope it’s obvious, but I’ll just say to be clear: when?God is sovereign; Be happy? Is it a code for?God is sovereign; Stop wanting or looking for marriage, that’s bad advice.
Can the human heart be complex, can you desire marriage and desire God’s will?Although this does not include marriage. Jesus Himself felt an unsatisfied desire as he submitted to his Father’s plan (Mt 26:39).
In fact, it is a sign of spiritual maturity for a believer to bring the desire of marriage to the throne of heaven, extending his heart before the God who listens and cares. Resignation is a feature of stoicism, not Christianity.
Being single is not an obstacle to being fully human; it’s an expression of that. A woman’s life, for example, does not really begin when she becomes a wife or mother, but when she becomes a true bearer of God’s image.
Pastor, remind the unhappy single person that his marital status is not the defining characteristic. Words like?
I think a lot of well-meaning people tend to think of celibacy like all or nothing. Someone who has done everything for him will always act with a variation of “Do you have anyone in sight?”Whoever did this will prescribe joy as a medicine?Or is God sovereign; Be happy? With the aforementioned misunderstanding. As pastors, we must both affirm the desire of the disused bachelor and, at the same time, not act as if it were the only event of his life.
Of course, no observation is more significant than the story of the most complete person who has ever had sex and has never married. If celibacy is deficient, so was Jesus Christ.
In these lines, Scripture clarifies that marriage is a mirror of the Gospel, reflecting the union between Jesus and his wife, the Church (Ephesians 5. 32).
But does this mean that the only Christian does not reflect the gospel?The pious celibacy reflects the Church of this time, while we wait for the return of our Savior with hope; In fact, I believe that single people can enjoy special solidarity with Jesus that married people cannot; after all, he waits for the wedding. day (At 19. 6-10).
Sam Allberry expresses it this way: “Marriage and celibacy indicate the gospel. The first reflects his form, the second his sufficiency. Pastor, help single Christians in your church see how they can uniquely reflect the adequacy of the gospel while they wait for final marriage.
Speaking of the single and chaste woman, Elisabeth Elliot (1926-2015) writes:
When she voluntarily gives hesds hemselves to [Christ] in love, she does not need to justify he he heeds to the world or to Christians who harass her with questions and suggestions. In an inaccessible way to the married woman, her living sacrifice?The diary is a powerful and humble testimony, radiating love. I think she can participate in the Mystery? Deeper than the rest of us.
We live in an erotic age where human beings are systematically reduced to their sexuality. The insistence, then, that chastity is a gift to be embraced and not a cross to bear is as contradictory as it is biblical.
Paul could not have been clearer about the fact that celibacy is a good gift from God:
I want all men to be who I am; However, each has his own gift from God; one, in fact, in a certain way; another, on the other. And I say to singles and widowers that it would be good for them to stay in the state in which I too live, and so he that marries his virgin daughter goes well; one that does not improve the house (1 Corinthians 7: 7-8, 38; see Mt 19:10-12).
However, it is not always useful to simply inform someone that celibacy is a gift; after all, there’s something like an unwanted gift. Try to show him why the gift is beautiful from the point of view of heaven. Help him see the possibilities, under the package.
Celibacy is not the kind of gift that is unwrapped and kept; it’s the type you use. And the gift is not only for the single person, but for the entire community. Is everyone enjoying the life of a person who has accepted this call? this arrangement? of the king himself.
In your book, when was the Church a family?[When the Church was a family], Joseph Hellerman makes an impressive observation:
Paul’s concern in 1 Corinthians 7 was not to question how celibacy fits into the plan of the kingdom of God. Paul addressed the question of how marriage fits into his kingdom’s plan. Singles are already participating in the program, do they care about the Lord?(V. 32). Married people are those who need help organizing their priorities.
Single Christians are not in “standby mode,” waiting for their professional responsibilities in the kingdom of God. Let us not communicate in any other way in our churches.
It’s complicated because there’s a thin line between telling singles that they can probably act more freely for the gospel and suggesting that they’re supposed to. The first is encouraging; the last one isn’t. The first is how to add wind to the sails; the last thing is like adding weight to the boat.
The world is synonymous with single life for everything you can do for yourself. The Bible advocates single life for everything you can do for others. Where is the beauty of celibacy brighter?Neither on exotic trips, nor on Netflix shows, nor when you wake up on Saturday at noon, although these things can be great, the uniqueness shines brighter in the ability to serve, to be available at one time, to leave everything in your face. unexpected news and how can a single friend make?travel and organize the vigil of a family that has suddenly lost their child.
Therefore, encourage the singles of your church to adopt their relative freedom and flexibility as the strategic disposition they have, which has implications not only for their ministry (e. g. 1Co 7. 32-34), but also for their friendships. As Allberry points out:
Those of us who remain single may not be able to experience the unique depth of intimacy with a married friend, but they can enjoy a unique expans of intimacy with a number of close friends, who have just had more opportunities and skills than ever before. married people usually have to invest in close friendships.
One of the best ways to love someone who wants to marry is to help him see that God is always sovereign, wise, and good to his children, and will not cease to be sovereign to them. God knows what is best for them (wise), wants what is best for them (good), and will do what is best for them (sovereign). Charles Spurgeon put it wonderfully: “Remember this: if other circumstances were better for you than the circumstance in which they are, divine love would have put you there.
This is not an insignificant or superficial triviality. It is an unwavering truth on which the Christian relies.
Is it hard to improve Paige Brown’s words in his admirable essay?Singled Out for Good? [Single for my own good].
Accepting celibacy, whether temporary or permanent, does not depend on speculation about the answers God gave not to our list of questions, but to the celebration of the life he gave. I’m not single because I’m too spiritually unstable for I deserve a husband, or because I’m too spiritually mature to need it. I’m single because God is extremely good to me, because that’s the best thing for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that everything can be better for me now that the Psalmist confirms that I cannot be in need, I will not be in need, because God will not take good care of me.
Recent and modern Western culture confuses sex with intimacy, but not scriptures. God’s people, gathered in the kingdom’s outposts, called local churches, must be the most intimate community on earth.
A man or woman in Christ is not really alone, he is a son in the house of the Father (1 Timothy 3:15), a member of the body of the Son (1 Corinthians 12:12-27), a stone in the temple of the Spirit (Ephesians 2:21-22).
And unlike the marital status, these realities will remain forever
In your book? God, marriage and family? [God, marriage and family], Andreas Kostenberger makes the interesting observation that Scripture develops, if necessary, in a direction in favor of celibacy:
Unique in creation: non-existent.
Baccalaureate in the Old Testament: unusual and generally undesirable.
New Testament Baccalaureate: Advantageous for Kingdom Ministry
Single in the final state: universal.
Of course, you are called to run your church in honor of marriage (Heb 13:4), but be careful not to do so at the expense of celibacy, a stewardship entrusted to some of us now that will characterize us all forever.
The local church is indispensable to the Christian life, and the last reason is due to its angular head and totally sufficient, Jesus Christ.
I once heard my friend Bethany Jenkins say that if Jesus wasn’t enough for her while she was single, it wouldn’t be enough for her when she got married.
Don’t you like it?
Pastor, remind singles in your church who already have access to the deepest and most meaningful love relationship that exists. Fin. Si get married, it’s great, but it’ll only add a dollar of approval and love to the billions of dollars already.
Once again, contentment in celibacy does not resemble a deaf desire for marriage; The most beautiful thing, in fact, is when unmarried Christians recognize their desire for a spouse and yet bear witness to Jesus’ sufficiency in the midst of difficulties. The world has a category for a single person who acts as if marriage is not a good business. But the world does not have a category for (and cannot understand or explain) a single person who aspires to marriage by declaring, “Is your grace enough for me?”(2Co 12. 9).
As Allberry says: “The key to satisfaction as a bachelor is not to be content with celibacy; Is it being happy in Christ, like a single person?”
Far from being a second-class vocation, is pious celibacy a vital provision entrusted to many of our brothers and sisters?Some for a while, some for life.
When guiding those who aspire to a spouse, don’t miss the opportunity to listen, comfort, and speak the truth with love, and the best way to love them is to focus your gaze not on your situation, in the end, but on the person who is greatest. never lived.