By identifying the factors that motivate your sexual desire, I also want you to see if you are treating your sin as a friend, an ally, a refuge, etc. These ideas are essential for repentance to make sense as the central element of change. Unless we see how our sin seeks to replace God in our lives, our need to correct ourselves before God seems as if God unduly inhibits our sexuality.
“Your fight against sex addiction doesn’t start with your behavior. Start with what you want, why do you live? (David Powlison in Sexual Addiction, p. 6).
- When boredom is what triggers our sexual desire.
- Sin becomes our joy.
- When there is a time we can occupy with something of our choice.
- We seek sin to fill the void.
- Not God or any of his legitimate desires.
- Appetite for divine pleasure when the sweet-eating child no longer wants a healthy diet.
- Even when you feel the numbness of the ups and downs of treats.
- Can’t you relate that to your diet and look for another one?”obvious” solution.
Isn’t sex supreme? Idols start out as good things that we value too much, and few things become idolatry more often or forcefully than sex. We allow a good gift from God to impersonating the God who gave it. Sex is good, even big, but it’s not. Isn’t it supreme? (Tim Challies in Sexual Detox, p. 61. )
Read Nehemiah 8:9-12. God is a God of great joy and pleasure. Do we often see God as something so serious that we believe this?It must be something contrary to Him. When God called Israel to repentance for Nehemiah and Ezra, He asked them to express their repentance in celebration. If the boredom factor leads you to sin, let this passage challenge your vision of God.
When loneliness is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our “friend”. Sexual sin is always relational, whether the relationship is fictional or physical. So it goes well with loneliness. It’s as if our sin (a person, a cat, or a video) tells us, “Tell me your problems. “We were happy to take a chair and vent. In doing so, talking to a real person or someone who is No part of our sin becomes very dangerous. Now we fear being judged or discovered by someone other than our ‘friend’.
“I can create a perfect world. Things always go exactly my way. People do exactly what I want. I’m always on top. Is it the ideal fantasy to feed the ego? (Anonymous testimony in David Powlison’s book Pornography: Slaying the Dragon, p. 19).
Read Proverbs 27. 6. During sexual sin, we write this proverb backwards. We think “loyal are the kisses of the enemy, but are the friend’s wounds misleading?When sin nullifies the roles of friend and foe, it stops us until we give back the right labels to the people in our lives. If the factor of loneliness leads to sexual sin, then prayerfully examine who or what you call a “friend. “
When stress is what leads to sexual sin, sin becomes our “comfort. “We’re running for him or her. Sin or our adulterous companion improves things (at least as long as he or she remains hidden and with us). However, comfort has an addictive quality. The stress from which we are released is multiplied by the stress it generates, which keeps us in a cycle of stress, returning to a main source of stress for relief.
“We want intimacy at the relational level. We’re lonely. But we’re also afraid of intimacy. Aren’t we sure we can do that or are we vulnerable enough to handle it?(Tim Chester at Closing the Window, p. 47 )
Read John 14:25-31. Jesus describes the Holy Ghost as the One?Help? Or the duvet? (V. 26) and as a source of peace other than world peace that always leads us to fear (v. 27). a source of comfort does not allow you to be more real with more people, so that is not a real comfort, it is a drug that numbs you before you get sick, if the stressor leads you to sexual sin, then consider if your comfort ?It’s real or a form of relational self-medication.
When frustration is what leads us to sexual sin, then sin becomes our source of peace. Sin is treated as an “oasis”. When this happens, do we label our sin?Refuge? In relation to the parts of life that bother us. This makes sin our friend and anything that opposes or interferes becomes our enemy.
Read Romans 16:17-20 and 1 Thessalonians 5:22-24. Know that each passage refers to the God’s knowledge of peace as an alternative to temptation based on deceptive desires. In those who seek peace when something frustrates you, this is what determines your character. As soon as you declare that something or someone is the source of your peace, you will be faithful and obey.
When fatigue is what leads to sexual sin, then sin becomes our source of life. We seek in sin our impulse to endure the day. Thinking about our sin makes us move forward when we think about giving up. The adrenaline rush of sexual satisfaction (physical or romantic) becomes a drug that we use to artificially stimulate ourselves, and we begin to wonder if we can live without it.
Read 2 Corinthians 4. 7-18. This passage uses many words that can be synonymous or create fatigue: afflicted (v. 8), perplexed (v. 8), persecuted (v. 9), dejected (v. 9), and weak ( v. 16). Fatigue can make you feel lonely and sexual sin becomes your living companion. Paul says that it is only Christ who can be the life in us that faces the fatigue of death around us (v. 10-12). Doubting this truth reveals that we believe (or at least listen carefully) to lies.
When pain is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our refuge; in our sinful moments of flight, we feel protected from life and a growing fidelity to our sin develops; in fact, our sin gives us as much protection as a child pulling the blanket over his head, but in our moments of pain we appreciate the pseudo-refuge of sin in relation to the apparent absence of any other refuge.
Read Psalm 31, this psalm alternates between a cry for help and a song of confidence, so the psalm reveals the realism with which the scriptures speak, sexual sin is a pseudo refuge available. Even when we cannot have sin, we can fantasize about his presence. However, God’s true refuge is available through the same kind of “meditative” exercise. However, He can truly deliver us through the direction of the scriptures, the presence of His Spirit. and the involvement of his people.
When betrayal is what leads to sexual sin, sin becomes our vengeance. We know how powerful betrayal is (especially sexual betrayal), so we have decided to use its power to take revenge on those who hurt us. pain to overcome the pain, but we simply multiply it. We continue that potentially infinite domino effect that strikes us, alternating experiences of the pain of betrayal and the shame of betrayal, even if we know how pain perpetuates.
Read Romans 12: 17-21. Es very tempting to read this passage as if God were preventing you from having gentle relief and satisfaction, but in reality, God prevents you from turning the betrayal of others into self-destruction. don’t suppress revenge. He simply says that he is the only one who can exercise his power without being defeated by him. Sin cannot overcome sin; no more than oil can remove a stain from your clothes. Is it foolish to believe that your sexual sin can do what only Christ’s death on the cross would accomplish?justice to injustice.
When bitterness is what leads to sexual sin, sin becomes our righteousness. If sin as vengeance is fast and fiery, sin as justice is slow and cold. We no longer seek to hurt others with our actions; Now we’re just feeding our wound. If we were trying to explain our sin in words, we should say that we believe that our sin has some healing power. But because it sounds ridiculous, we tend to justify it simply because of the sin committed. against us.
Read Hebrews 12:15-17. In this passage, one?Root of bitterness?It is directly related to sexual sin (v. 16). When bitterness distorts our perspective, we exchange things of great value (our integrity and/or our family unit) for things of little value (a freed desire or a quickly realized fantasy) when Sau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup.
When opportunity is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our pleasure. Often, sexual sin requires only time alone with a computer, free time to send text messages, or a member of the opposite sex. Talk? (i. e. , flirting or allowing me to take my burdens). When it does, sexual sin becomes our normal entertainment, our favorite pastime. The more our sexual sin is leaked into the common parts of life, the deeper the changes in heart and lifestyle needed to eliminate it.
“The reality is that we often do not love shame and the consequences of sin, but do we still love sin itself?That’s why pornography is nice. Let’s be honest about it. If we pretend not to, we’ll never win, watch pornography, or they wouldn’t see it. The Bible speaks of the pleasures of sin. They’re temporary. They’re dangerous. These are empty pleasures compared to the glory of God. But yet are they pleasures? ( Tim Chester in Closing the Window, p. 15)
Read Philippians 3:17-21. Does Paul address those who have one?God in his womb? (V. 19). They are people whose basic appetites, the everyday aspects of their lives, disagree with God. Paul wept when he thought of people in this condition (v. 18). If simple opportunity becomes the central reason for your sin, let this passage surprise you and wake you up!
When rejection is what leads to sexual sin, sin becomes our comfort. Has our culture done things out of fear of rejection? Appear neutral, as if negative motivation denies the malignancy of sin; as if we were victims of our own sin when we fear being rejected. The problem with fear of rejection is that it makes us stupid. Only the fear of the Lord can make us wise (Pr 1:7). When we react out of fear of rejection, we naturally seek people’s comfort rather than God’s comfort.
“Once we understand that the main goal of sexually addictive behavior is to avoid pain in relationships?In essence, controlling life?Do we begin to discover the main problem?Beneath several layers of the surface, there is a penetrating and integral force that requires the right to avoid pain and experience self-realization. This self-centered energy is the essence of what the Bible calls “sin” (Harry Schaumburg in False Intimacy, p. 20, 24).
Read Proverbs 29. 25. La what does he call it? Afraid of rejection?The fear of man ?. It is not an innocent thing because it replaces God as the One whose approval we live in, it is the values, character, and preferences of those we fear who influence our decisions, emotions, morality, and instinctive reactions. If rejection is your main goal, reason for sexual sin, let this passage question the direction of your life.
When failure is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our success. In the fantasy world of sexual sin (pornography, romantic means or adultery), you always win. You’re staying with the girl. You’re the rescued girl. No part of real life can compete with the rapid success rate of sin. Sin comes first and the cost comes later. The cost of true success is the first thing. In healthy marriages, sacrifice is an essential element of joy. By engaging in sexual sin as a form of success, it will lead you to desire the kind of success that destroys a family. Even if the adultery ratio stabilizes, will it become stable?Real? Enough to stop playing according to your favorite. rules of success.
Read Matthew 21: 28-32. Why did the second child say I am 19 years old?30). One possible reason is the fear of failure. Undoubtedly, he would have seen his father dissatisfied with him and would feel closer to someone who just wants him to do what he wants (i. e. pornography, romantic media or an adulterous couple). Using sexual sin as a cheap success has the effect of damaging real relationships, lying, getting defensive to be?and go back to sick or fictitious relationships. Instead of evaluating others for what they make us feel, repent of your fear of failure.
When success is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our reward Has Your sexual sin become what you do when you need to rest or what you deserve after finishing something difficult?Has your sexual sin become the carrot you throw in front of you to keep you motivated?When sin becomes our reward, we feel deceived by repentance. God and whoever speaks for him becomes a murderer.
Read Hebrews 11:23-28. Moses had to choose between the reward he found most satisfying: the treasure of Egypt or the privilege of being a servant of God (v. 26). Sexual sin gives us a similar choice: an easy treasure or humble service. Unless Christ is his hero and God his Father admirable, then the choice seems to be easy to go towards destruction.
When the law is our reason for sexual sin, sin becomes what we deserve. When you face your sexual sin, do you think or say how I’ll get what I need?Can you see how sexual sin has become your measure of what one is?Or if someone’s against or in favor of you?Are you prepared to allow only Christ, who died for the sin of which you are trying to obtain life, to be the measure of what is in your life
Read Jeremiah 6. 15 and 8. 12. God’s people had lost the ability to be ashamed of sin. Why? One possible explanation (which may explain our inability to feel ashamed even if it does not apply to them) is that they believed they deserved their sin. When this happens, we think we know more than God. We believe that the unique situations of our lives are more important than the eternal truths of God’s god-created order. Our confidence in discussion deprives us of the humility needed to embarrass us.
When the desire to please is the reason for our sexual sin, then sin becomes our self-affirmation. It’s easy to please a porn actor or an adulterous couple, they want to be happy. The whole relationship is based on trade (?Is the customer always right?) Or convenience (?If you don’t like me, do you have anywhere else to go?) Instead of commitment (?I choose you unconditionally and faithfully in good times?) Very often, sin becomes an escape place when you’re not trying to make someone happy.
Read Ephesians 4:25-32. Note that the type of relational interaction described in these verses is incompatible with an exaggerated desire to please others. We cannot live the life That God has called us (whether we sin sexually or not) if our main desire is to please others. Our conversations must be kind and good for construction (v. 29), but this implies that we are willing to discuss the weaknesses with which we love.
When time is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our tranquilizer Do you use your sexual sin to help you sleep, start the day, end boredom, spend time or stimulant?normally fighting sexual sin Has your sexual sin become a routine?
Read 1 Timothy 4. 7-10. When you use sin as a tranquilizer, you exercise in wickedness (see verse 7). Often, because these events occur during periods of inactivity, we think they are not as serious; We see them more as a child who still sucks his finger than as a child who defies direct instructions from parents. means something, it’s important when we feel rebellious.
When place is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our escape. The capricious nature of any sexual sin makes it a perfect escape from an unpleasant place. Can we be present? And “absent” at the same time. We can get a presence. (or at least avoid being missed) without having to be present. We can be mentally with our lover in the face of a boring date, difficult children, a selfless spouse, a lonely floor or any other unpleasant context.
Read Psalm 32 and understand that the psalm begins by talking about an unpleasant time or place (v. 1-5). But instead of fleeing, David ran to God (v. 7) and found the joy he seeks as he escaped sexual sin (v. 10-11). When we flee from a sexual fantasy, we use our fantasy as a replacement God. In fact, we are praying and pondering our sin during a period of difficulty in search of deliverance.
When negative thoughts are our reason for sin, sin becomes our silencer. In sexual fantasy (pornography, romantic media or adulterous partner), we are always loveed and seen through the eyes of those who love us. only physically, but in the imagination, as we know the relationship is short-term, we’re ready to do it. If the relationship were permanent, the power of the silent effect would be diluted over time and nullify by our growing number of failures. in the presence of the partner.
Read Psalm 103. Sin (or even a healthy human relationship) will never do what only God can do. Is the last silence of our negative thoughts the death of Christ on the cross? our disadvantage with his justice. Sexual sin offers imaginary justice. It can only offer the mock cover type of the classic A Underwear Emperor children’s book.
When the public is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our playground. We go through life like a child in a park; admire each person we see as a new toy or a romantic adventure, make raw sexual innuendos to each comment or treat everyone present as if they existed to amuse and stimulate us sexually, our private thoughts feed on a hypersexualized interpretation of what surrounds us.
“Watching pornography is part of the help it intends to offer. I can find women who are available to me. I can choose between them as a sovereign being. Does that offer a sense of control? (Tim Chester, in Closing the Window, p. 50).
Read Romans 1:24-25. Can you see in the description of sex as a park what it means: change God’s truth into a lie and honor and serve the creature more than the Creator?(V. 25)? God will give us this kind of lustful heart (v. 24). That is why the radical amputation of sin is a wise and necessary response to prevent sexual sin from becoming our amusement park (Mt 5:27-30).
When weakness is what leads us to sexual sin, sin becomes our power. The stimulation (physical and chemical associated with arousal) of sexual sin offers a facade of strength. Another person who appreciates you produces an important appearance. As with many of these reasons. Sex becomes a means to an end. Sex is no longer an expression of love, but an attempt to achieve something. It is always a recipe for dysfunctional and unsatisfactory sex.
“My pastor has preached that the main problem with adultery is that you want someone to worship and serve you, to be at your disposal. It resonated with me. Could you see this theme in my fantasies? (Anonymous Testimony in Pornography: Killing the Dragon by David Powlison, p. 15).
Read 2 Corinthians 11:30 Are you ready (to publicly and verbally expose) your weakness as a way to make Christ known and live in more authentic relationships?It is the only freedom that will allow you to enjoy what you are looking for in sexual sin. If this seems the other way around, read what Paul says in his first letter to the Corinthians (1:20-25) and ask yourself if his ”wisdom” is approaching or moving away from where he wants to be.
List and classify the top five reasons for your sexual sin
Pornography is always a symptom of deeper problems, involves lust, but it also involves anger, intimacy, control, fear, flight, etc. Will many of these problems appear in other areas of life?(Tim Chester, in Closing the Window , p. 109).
For some people, the reason for their sexual sin will be very obvious; maybe you can quickly understand why you think sin is worth it or it will work this time; for others, it is necessary to think of the moment of temptation to discern. what appeals to them.
The courage to understand the reason for our sin is that it allows us to listen to the vain promises sin makes so that we can return to our loving Heavenly Father, who desires and can keep these promises. I hope this article has helped you see the void of sin and prepared you to accept God’s fulness in the gospel.